MTV Nominees.

The MTV Video Music Award nominees came out today.  I am not that excited.  I remember a time when I would get all amped up about the MTV Awards because it was so different from all the other awards.  Now I don't even think MTV has the right to give out awards for videos because they just don't play music videos anymore.  In fact, MTV should give out awards for the best fights (Teen Mom), the best statutory rapes (16 and Pregnant), and the best crotches getting hit (Ridiculousness).  I say You Tube start making an awards ceremony because in all fairness, they're the only ones showing videos nowadays.

But anyways, here are the nominees.


Video of the Year
Drake f/ Rihanna - Take Care
Gotye - Somebody That I Used to Know
Katy Perry - Wide Awake
M.I.A. - Bad Girls
Rihanna - We Found Love



Best Female Video
Beyoncé - Love on Top
Katy Perry - Part of Me
Nicki Minaj - Starships
Rihanna - We Found Love
Selena Gomez & The Scene - Love You Like a Love Song

 Best Male Video

Chris Brown - Turn Up the Music
Drake f/ Rihanna - Take Care
Frank Ocean - Swim Good
Justin Bieber - Boyfriend
Usher - Climax




Best Hip-Hop Video
Childish Gambino - Heartbeat
Drake f/ Lil Wayne - HYFR
Kanye West f/ Pusha T, Big Sean, and 2 Chainz - Mercy
Nicki Minaj f/ 2 Chainz - Beez in the Trap
The Throne - Paris

So there you go.  The top songs played on the radio are also nominated for the best videos.  It's all corporations now.  It's the only way they're going to grab on to your money for another 5-10 years before they become completely obsolete.  So in the meantime, keep listening to the radio, watch your non-video tv and pay for the music that is just not as good as it once was.  The playing field will be leveled and all of these artists will actually have to work a little harder to take the money out of our pockets.  And I do exclude Kanye West because there is really very little he can do to make me boycott him (PS: he's doing it right now).


Here are the videos for video of the year.  Now you tell me if there are better videos or not.

Rihanna- We found Love (Yes, let's glorify an abusive relationship because it is just as great as how you're making it out to be Rihanna).


Gotye- Somebody That I Used To Know (One of the best videos and songs of the year.  Thank Buddha I don't know him anymore)


Katy Perry - Wide Awake ( I don't like Katy Perry and her intro is horrible.)


M.I.A. - Bad Girls (Always interesting, always different.  But she's a little chunky, so I can't take her too seriously).


Drake ft/Rihanna - Take Care (Like the song, hate the video and don't really like the artists performing it).


Now looking at all of these videos, there's a lot of color, a lot of heartbreak, and a lot of bad stuff. This is what MTV glorifies. This is the contribution they give to the world. Thank you MTV.

Yes You Can.

Reading an article on "The Atlantic" on "Why Women Still Can't Have it All," ( http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/why-women-still-can-8217-t-have-it-all/9020/# ) I was baffled.  Our women ancestors have fought hard for equality and we have come to a point in our lives where given the same circumstances between a man and a woman: they are equal.  Yet I still read articles about women complaining that they don't make enough money, or they don't have enough time in the day to take care of their children.  And my favorite is the complaint of losing their liberties because their children are taking it away from them.

We have been told time and time again that children are the one thing that will make us allhappy.  but is that really the case?  There are many people who love children and don't complain about it, like my mother.  But then there are those women who have children, for whatever reason, and still complain that they want their time, the dreams, their freedom.  But when someone chooses to have children, there is an inherent responsibility that comes with it.  You are no longer the most important in your life.  Your child becomes the most important person in your life.  So why complain?

This lady, Annie-Marie Slaughter describes her successes in the work place, yet has lost control of her 14-year-old son.  She describes on one hand how she had a dream job working for the department of state, but her son was falling into a pattern of mischief at his middle school.  She made the choice to leaver her post and take care of her son leaving her to prompt the question of women having it all.

Tom Leykis made it plain and simple, "If you want to have it all, then don't have kids."

I have a similar take on it, but I will elaborate to better understand my opinion in this matter.  Having children again means that your freedom comes second to the responsibility.  It goes both ways for men and women.  In that sense, we are all equal.  Both men and women have the choice to have children or to have a career.  Just because the woman carries the baby in their body does not take away from the fact that a man can also make the choice to have a kid.  Given those circumstances, I believe that both men and women have to choose whether they want the career or the child.  And if you choose to have both, there are consequences that both parties must face because a child is the biggest responsibility that an adult can take.

I say stop making it an issue about sex, because that's caveman talk.  It's an issue simply of what you want most and what you are willing to sacrifice.  Women tend to bitch and complain about having too much work and not enough time with the kids.  Men on the other hand understand the consequences and take their own risk.  Maybe it's time us women own up to our choices and stop complaining about them.  In the end, you birth the baby, so maybe you should let someone else who has the time handle the big jobs.

I won't have kids because I want to be accessible to my employer whenever needed.  I choose not to have kids because I don't want to end up picking between my job and my kids.  If I have kids and I am forced to choose them over my dreams, I will hate my choice to have them, which is not fair to them.

To Anne-Marie: you made your bed, now lay in it.  If you wanted to be a successful individual, then maybe you should of thought about having kids a little more carefully as there is a risk with every choice we make in this world.

To Tom Leykis: thank you for the great article.  You're on point and women make it way too easy for you to pick on them.  Fucking bitches.

Opinions.

 There is nothing wrong with an opinion.  Everyone has them.  It's our right as Americans to have opinions.  About everything.  But when does an opinion become more than just that?  When does it become an actual criticism? Or even an actual insult?

I have two stories to share.  One in national news, and a personal one that happened to me today.

The first one is a headline that has been plaguing the news for many reasons.  Fast-food chain CEO of Chik-fil-a recently came out against same-sex marriage.  He was asked about his donations to certain groups as that focus on "maintaining the sanctity of marriage," to which his response was, "guilty as charged."  This little public declaration has gotten people to talk about the issue of same-sex marriage in this country.  Now everyone is entitled to their own opinions.  But keeping them to yourself is one thing and blasting them to the world is another.  When you keep your opinions to yourself, you don't get caught in a tangled web of other opinions judging your declaration.  But when you declare a bold statement, your expectation is to have a number of people come at you from all angles with all their bullshit opinions that really don't mean anything.  I don't care for marriage.  But I do believe in equality, and if someone wants to ruin their life by getting married, then everyone has the right to ruin their lives by getting married, to any human they see fit.  But my point is this.  Had this CEO just shut the fuck up, then he probably would not be in this situation.  Now he's being banned in a number of different cities, people are boycotting their food, and others are getting fatter in support of this hate-filled food chain.

On the other hand,  today I went to lunch with a few family members. I have kept my law school acceptance to myself becasue my family iw known to criticize to the point of hating on other people's successes.  So today my mother happened to mention that she was buying me a laptop for my birthday because I was getting ready to go back to school.  My aunt then proceeded to probe me on my decision.  She asked where I was going, I told her to a school about three hours from my hometown.  Then she proceeded to say that they were going to charge me a grip load, that would I be able to do it, and what am I thinking going off to school.  Now listening to this, I was thinking, don't say anything.  But the truth is this:  her family is also getting themselves in to situations that are highly risky.  Her daughter is in the process of purchasing a vehicle she may not be able to afford, and her son just bought a house with a wife that's 50% committed to the relationship, from what I have seen and heard.  And here she comes giving me her opinion about things that don't really concern her, and things she has no idea of because she hasn't actually taken the time to research and really know in order to talk.  I, on the other hand, have done my research, I tried my very hardest to get into a school near my hometown, but didn't not get in for whatever reason.  I simply answered to her, "I know it's expensive, but to me it's an investment.  I applied to schools here, but I am on the wait list, and school starts mid-August.  I made this choice not because I want to move away and get tens of thousands of dollars in loans, but because this is what I want to do and I am tired of wasting my time doing things that I don't like, don't make enough money to stay, and simply don't want to do."  Very simple, and neutral.  We then proceeded to discuss how her son is moving to his new home near her house.

My point for both of these stories is this:  Keep you fucking opinions to yourself.  Nobody really cares what you think because chances are those with the loudest opinions are usually filled with hate.  From national news to your home, an opinion is just that, wasting your breath is not going to change anything except the opinion someone has of you.  Now Chik-fil-a's approval rating is at a 43%, from a 61%, and I will not mention anything about my life to this woman because in the end all this shit-talking doesn't really do much except piss people off.

I've never eaten at this Chik-fil-a place, and I don't plan on it.  Now they have given me even more reason to avoid it.  Because more than anything, I fucking hate haters.

Foul Language.

 
I use and will continue to use bad words in my blog.  I enjoy using foul language and this is my escape to speak my mind whichever way I see fit.

If you don't like it or think that I am trash, that's okay.  My recommendation to you is to find the "X" on the top right corner of your screen and use it.  Thank you.

Celibacy.

I took a vow of celibacy in February after I stopped seeing this guy that turned out to be a little ridiculous.  And to this day I have to say that I am not really missing sex.  Now, I have gotten plenty of offers for dating, I'm not going to lie, but I am really just disgusted by all men and I really don't want anything from them at the moment. This disgust I talk about is not being attracted to men because I find many men attractive at the moment, too many to count.  But when I think about their naked bodies on top of mine, the attraction just seems to disappear.  I seem to crawl into my own skin and try my hardest not to think about it.  Especially those fatties that are cute on the outside, but fluffy on the inside.  They don't excite me at all. 

I took a vow of celibacy from marriage when I was probably 10 years old.  At the same time that I decided to become a lawyer, I knew that I would be able to take care of myself and would not need a man to take care of me.  That vow was somewhat broken when I got engaged to the supposed "love of my life" but I never went through with the marriage.  I had three opportunities to get married and each time there was something wrong with the paperwork, so it never really got to that point.  I thank nature everyday that it never happened; I thank myself for never going through with it because I never want to get married. 

Celibacy can be described as the vow toward the state of abstinence and the vow of never getting married.  Marriage to me seems to antiquated, as I have said before, and I don't think it fits well in the 21st century.  But to take a vow of celibacy has meant that I am no longer interested in the opposite sex at all.  I don't need a man for anything and I am quite content with that predicament.  I have my family and my future to worry about.

 One day I may just want to have sex again, who knows.  But never will there be a time where I will be so devoted to a man that I would want to share my wealth with him. Furthermore, I think it has a lot to do with the way I feel about men in general.  Men today are so scared of any kind of commitment, it's completely unattractive.  I understand if boys want to fuck around and get their dicks taken care of by more than one person, but it is not appetizing to me to think that the guy I am seeing has had his dick in another girl's pussy just the night before. And the ones who are not playing their little games are complete total pussies that fall in love immediately.  Can we just have a medium?  Nope, that's asking for a little too much. 

So here's to all the boys that I have met.  Thank you for bringing me to this state of mind.  I don't miss you; I don't need you, and the sex wasn't that good.  But we did have lots of fun in the moment.  Until the next time, I will keep my legs closed and focus on what is important: family, money and success. 

I recommend you sluts do the same.

Pusha T.

I wasn't a big a fan of Pusha T. I heard him on a number of Kanye tracks (Runaway and So Appalled) and he just seemed to me like one of those commercial rappers that has no real skill.  But then I heard Exodus 23:1 and I was convinced otherwise.

I am fan of the gritty hip hop that is missing in mainstream music and is desperately missed by the fans.  I want the balls back in hip hop because all these little bitches running around talking about love, chains, cars, and bullshit just seems completely commercial and pathetic, in my opinion.  I miss the days of NWA, Westcoast hip hop, and Tupac, all who kept hip hop in the hood and showcased what really went down in their minds and in their culture.  You see I am from the hood.  I won't mention where, but I was fortunate enough to have parents that kept me away from the madness.  But I still like to represent where I come from and what my culture is like, so I take a bow to those that don't sugar coat their bullshit with sex.  This is real; this is hard. 

This song is supposed to be a diss to Drake (I hate Drake).  More power to you Pusha T.  There's a fool that's completely missing balls in his music.  In my opinion, Drake is just a factory created copy-cat of Kanye West that Lil' Wayne wants to shove down our throats because he can't come up with something original.  Same with Nicki Minaj (a little more original, but a hip hop version of Lady Gaga and Rihanna).  You see that is what's wrong with mainstream hip-hop.  I've even heard it.  They all try to copy the same rapper's music (Jay-Z) and become the president of a successful label.  Let's get some originality in this bitch already.  I'm tired of hearing some idiot talk about how he will take care of some girl.  Bitch, please. 

Children.

I don't know if I have made myself clear on the subject of children.  But if I haven't, then let's just get one thing straight.  I don't like children and they don't like me.  I have never been a fan of children and I must say I hated most of my youth, particularly teenage years because of the nonsense I had to put up with in order to become an adult.  My experiences with children can be summed up with a few just to show my distaste for children.

The first one came when I was about 8 years old. I was at a neighbor's party and this little girl would not stop staring at me.  Now this is a thing little kids do, which drives me crazy. I know it's curiosity, but let's face it, nobody likes to be stared at for too long.  Well this kid kept staring, so I gently nudge her in the head (I think she was 5) and her mother went crazy on me.  Well in the end I had to leave the party, but that little bitch never stared at me again. 

The second one was when I was in high school.  A bunch of kids decided to gang up on me for whatever reason and spread rumors about the shit I did with guys that I was dating ( all in the span of two years).  Obviously these children's lives were so mundane that they had to pick at mine.  So I almost got into a couple of fights, which I would have loved because I wanted to beat the shit out of this little Asian girls thinking she was the shit.  It never came to that and I even pushed her a few times.  I like to think she was afraid of me.  Kat, if you're reading this, I'll take you on any fucking day bitch.  But anyways, I graduated from high school and went on to college. 

The third one(s) were my years teaching children. I know; I'm a masochist with tendencies to seek the things that will hurt me the most.  But I enjoyed teaching.  the only problem was that I was teaching children.  And I have very little patience for children, so you can only imagine what kind of shit came out of my mouth.  I've called children stupid (because they are stupid sometimes and honesty can be the best policy).  I've gotten into arguments with children.  I've told them that if they don't act right, they'll be failures and losers for the rest of their lives.  I've threatened children.  And one time I was even accused of pulling an 8 year old's hair as a form of punishment (IT WAS NOT THE CASE, but the bitch lied). 

So what does that say about me?  I should not have children.  And I will never have children.  From a very young age, I would say between 8-10, I said that I would never have children.  I still feel that same way to day and I will continue to feel that same way because I don't want children.  They will not make my life complete.  They will not be a blessing to my life.  They will hinder my life and my capabilities.  They will drain all of the happiness because my life will no longer be as important as theirs.  I don't want to be responsible for anyone except myself.  I am that selfish, and I don't have the mom-gene.  Furthermore, my abilities to raise a kid will more than likely lead any kid to potentially become the next psychopathic killer.  I have no patience for children. 

I also take a look at the world today.  The divorce rate is at a 50%.  People are just not staying together anymore.  And I don't want to be a single mother.  Do you know how many guys stay away from single mothers?  They've made the mistake once; they will probably do it again.   And the chances that a father will leave a household nowadays is the same as betting red or black on a roulette table.  Not taking any chances with those shitty chances. 

Some of you may feel like I'm insane for saying those things.  I do not recommend you follow my lead unless you feel the same way. If for some strange reason you feel the need to have kids, then go for it.  I am not one to say, "Do this or do that!"  I don't really care of people's choices.  But this is my choice and I choose to live a single, adult, child-free life.

So I don't like children.  I am one of millions of people that do not like children.  I don't want to show them how to clean their asses, how to put a tampon on, and what masturbation is.  I am good with being alone, and children will not make my life complete.  I think I'll stick to animals for companionship, thank you very much!

A Good Connection.

I am very irritated.  This internet is acting up again and I don't understand considering that it is a DSL modem that's supposed to be fast and effective.  Corporations are complete bullshit.  They monopolize every little aspect of the market they're competing for, only to reduce the quality of the product and increase the price they sell it for.  How does that relate to my internet connection you say?  Well let me explain... I have a Verizon connection.  Now their commercials are all about "having the highest speed with the most reliable connection."  But here I am restarting my modem almost everyday just so I can have a connection, if any.  But if I change to another internet service provider, like At&t or cable,I will still get the same quality, and probably pay the same, if not more.  Now my complaint about corporations is very simple.  If they want to monopolize a business, ensure that the quality of the product is worth removing all competition because at the end of the day if you take away our options and give us shit, what's the fucking point anyways?

And it's not just the internet industry; the clothing, food, banking industry are all run by a small percentage of people that really control the bulk of the wealth, and give us shitty products.  As an independent thinker and closeted libertarian, I don't really mind a company monopolizing an industry (if they are that good, then they should reap the benefits), but to completely eliminate a product's unique and excellent quality just leaves a bunch of customers angry and helpless.

If it was up to me, I would eliminate the use of corporations in my everyday life.  But I live in the US and that is damn near impossible.  What I do is mostly shop in small businesses, avoid fast food chains, or any chain stores for that matter, and whenever necessary, report the ridiculousness to all the review websites in order to get the word out.  I ask that you do the same.

Now I know I'm complaining, but I have a headache and this is pissing me off.  For the few that are reading this, I hope you're not too annoyed at my obnoxious nonsense.  It's just one of those days.

In the meantime, enjoy some Fiona Apple.

Cheaters.

News broke out today like a brush fire of the girl from Twilight, Kristen Stewart, cheated on her boyfriend with some guy (you can get the details here http://perezhilton.com/category/kristen-stewart?from=starseeker_top#.UBA6V6Ab0dU ).  Now I could care less about these two individuals, but I do care about the issue on cheating for many reasons. 

I was cheated on about three years ago by the person I considered "the love of my life"  for many reasons I can only imagine.  My world at that time revolved around this person.  I would have given my life to this person because in all honesty, I believed in love, in marriage, and the ability for two people to maintain this relationship through the ends of time.  I know, very retarded.  But I grew up with parents who are still married and on some level, love each other very much and respect each other.  It may not be passionate lust-love, but love worth fighting for nonetheless.  And I believed in that.  I hoped with this person that one day I would have that same love that my parents share for each other.  Seven fucking years I spent nurturing, manifesting, and growing this love to ensure that I would have this life my parents had too.  But it all crumbled on at August day when the love of my life broke up with me.  Later he admitted that he had met someone else, and that person was my scuba instructor.  I will beat the shit out of her if I ever find her.  But back to the story.  Now I knew this girl for about 6 months and so did he.  He worked with her because his job was advertising for this company through facebook.  So he knew that he was drawn to her, and later he moved in with  her just before I left Roatan, Honduras.  Some of you might be thinking a coincidence, but fuck no, this was all planned and I was there for their amusement.

Now I am heading to law school ( I CAN'T STRESS THAT ENOUGH!) and from what I have heard the girl is working in Mexico and is with-child.  My ex is currently in Roatan trying to find a white girl to move him back to the US (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!).  But the point is this: cheating happens every single day and for many reasons.  And it comes to show that this institutionalized belief of relationships, marriages, a "happily ever after" is all bullshit.  We are shown to believe that we will find our soul mate, and that person will be perfect just for us.  But that is a farce.  It is an antiquated belief that still exists in the 21st century for the likes of corporations making money off love and marriage.  Furthermore, we live in a world where women are equal to men, women can take care of themselves, and both sexes have access to unlimited ways of finding companions.  So what's the fucking point with sticking with one person for the rest of your life, or for that matter, cheating?  Staying with one person and fucking another...is that really necessary?  How about telling that person you want to be with that you will also want to be with others because you like being a slut?  By the way, there is nothing wrong with being a slut; it's just a lifestyle.  But my point is this.  I think we are now in an age where cheating is irrelevant.  People should have the balls to just be by themselves and fuck whomever they want without having to worry about other people's feelings.

But stupid people won't listen.  They will continue to be in relationships, marry each other, and cheat on each other because the indoctrination and continued success of the relationship industry needs stupid people to make these stupid mistakes so that they can make a few billion each year.

Don't even get me started on baby-making.  

For more on these ideas, please listen to The Tom Leykis Show.  He is a father to the belief of the failing marriage system and preaches his beliefs on his online show, which is hilarious, smart, and completely controversial.  I absolutely love it. 

His show can be found at http://www.blowmeuptom.com/ 

Mercy.

When I hear this song, all I can think about is the actual music.  I'm not too fond of the lyrics because let's just say they are predictable to the mainstream rap that's out there.  But the music is so fucking ridiculous. The combination of the harsh beats with the deeps voice, then this man comes out sounding like some foreign political refugee/tyrannical leader/zealot priest just combines into simply a genius dope song.  This is Kanye West at his best.  And I know he was in some way collaborating on the video because the video is even crazier. 

The video has the rappers dressed like Al-Qaeda/terrorists doing their thing in some random parking lot.  There are no booties, no titties, and the girl that's there is simply part of the gang or crew rapping their song to their beat.  I've always loved any rapper that can make a dope ass video without the excess cars, girls, and money.  This video was done with extra thought and care into it and you can see because it meshes so well with song, and in a way enhances the quality of the song to mean exactly what you thought the song was meant to be.  Sure the lyrics say "Lamborghini mercy, your chick she's so thirsty, I'm in the two seat lambo with your girl..." but yet the feeling you get from the song and the message has nothing to do with these lyrics.

My fascination with Kanye West has many dimensions, and I will attempt to explain when I am inspired in another post.  Not many people like him, but I think he is a genius when it comes to music.  Not only does he understand every component of making a song; but he is so gifted, he understands that with his music comes an evolution in sound, style, taste, lyrics, and overall persona.  This is his current evolution, and I am loving it.  Fuck Kim Kardashian and her whorish fame ways.  Kanye is a pioneer and a god-damned amazing producer, and he continues to learn new ways to reinvent his style and persona.  He has not showcased so much rapping ability these days, but he is so on point with his music, I am aching for his next song (or album because when he is in his zone, I almost break out in hives and start masturbating for hours).

I will post the lyrics because it's fun to sing along any song, but please don't pay them too much attention.  They really don't do justice to the song.  But this beat/song/melody is so dope, it can withstand that stupid "ass shaking" lyrics that makes rap often times stupid and misogynistic.  I love it regardless, like a big asshole.

[Bridge: "Fuzzy" Jones]
Well! It is a weeping, and a moaning, and a gnashing of teeth
It is a weeping, and a moaning, and a gnashing of teeth
When it comes to my sound which is the champion sound
Believe! Believe!

[Hook]
Lamborghini Mercy, your chick, she so thirsty
I'm in that two seat Lambo with your bitch, she tryna jerk me

[Verse 1: Big Sean]
Drop it to the floor, make that ass shake
Whoa, make the ground move, that's an ass quake
Built a house up on it, that's an ass state
Roll my blunt on it, that's an ass tray
Say Ye, say Ye, don't we do this every day-day?
I work them long nights, long nights to get a pay day
Finally got paid, now I need shade and a vacay
And niggas still hating, so much hate I need an AK
Now we out in Paris, yeah I'm Perriering
White girls politicking that's that Sarah Palin
Gettin' high, Californicating
I give her that D, cause that's where I was born and raised in

[Hook] 
 
[Verse 2: Pusha T]
It's prime time, my top back, this pimp game, ho
I'm red leather, this coke chain, I'm Rick James, ho
I'm bill droppin', Ms. Pacman is pill popping, ho
I'm poppin' too, these blue dolphins need two coffins
All she want is some heel money, all she need is some bill money
He take his time, he counts it out, I weighs it up, that's real money
Check the neck check the wrist, them heads turnin', that's exorcist
My Audemar like Mardi Gras, that's Swiss time and that's excellence
Two door preference, roof gone George Jefferson
That white frost on that pound cake so your Duncan Heinz is irrelevant
Lambo, Mercy-lago, she go wherever I go wherever we go we do it pronto

[Hook]

[Verse 3: Kanye West]
Let the suicide doors up
I threw suicides on the tour bus
I threw suicides on the private jet
You know what that mean, I'm fly to death
I step in Def Jam building like I'm the shit
Tell 'em, "Give me fifty million or I'mma quit"
Most rappers taste level ain't at my waist level
Turn up the bass 'til it's up-in-your-face level
Don't do no press but I get the most press, kid
Plus my bitch, make your bitch look like Precious
Something about Mary, she gone off that Molly
Now the whole party is melted like Dali
Now everybody is movin' they body
Don't sell me apartment, I'll move in the lobby
Niggas is loiterin' just to feel important
You gon' see lawyers and niggas in Jordan's

[Verse 4: 2 Chainz]
Ok, now catch up to my campaign, coupe the color of mayonnaise
I'm drunk and high at the same time drinkin' champaign on the airplane
Spit rounds like the gun range, beat it up like Rampage
100 bands, cut your girl, now your girl need a bandaid
Grade A, A1, chain the color of Akon
Platinum diamonds backpack around me, co-signed by Louis Vuitton
Horse power, horse power, all this Polo on I got horse power
Pound of this cost four thousand, I make it rain, she want more showers
Rain pourin', all my cars is foreign
All my broads is foreign, money tall like Jordan

Bon Anniversaire.

At midnight pacific time I will turn 27.  I have the same birthday as Jennifer Lopez, which in turn would make me a diva, but that is not the case.  My ideal birthday would be working all day and going to the gym.  I truly love my life and everything that I do I believe is my true passion.  I cannot stress enough how inconvenient it is for me to go out to dinner to celebrate my birthday because the best way for me to celebrate is to simply do what I do every single day.

I took French classes in high school and that is how they say happy birthday.  I've always liked the French.  They have the reputation of being bitchy.  I wish our culture had that reputation, but we're more of the hard working shit talking kind of folk that everyone wants out because we don't have our papers.  But what I really think is that white people are scared.  They think we're going to have too many babies in the US and we'll take over the population because of our procreation.  The truth is that it is happening right now and white people need to stand up in other ways.  For example, have more babies.  Don't be afraid of the consequences.  I am doing my part to help the white community by not having babies.  But I am only one woman and I can't do it alone.  Hopefully though we'll get to a point where tolerance becomes the norm and we are embraced for our abilities, creativity, and overabundance of people because let's face it: we can probably kick your ass all day.

But going back to the birthday thing.  I have always been against celebrating birthdays.  Again I celebrate my life everyday.  I think that comes a lot from the fact that my birthday is in the summer and I never celebrated it at school like the rest of the sheep (baaa).  It's just completely stupid to me.  Tomorrow I will go to dinner.  I will skip the gym (which I FUCKING hate) and I will have to see some folks that I personally don't want to see for my birthday.  But if people really feel the need to celebrate the day my mom popped me out, then by all means have at it.  Just know that in the back of mind, I am flexing my abs and running a marathon in hopes that I will burn more calories than usual.  Am I retarded?  Maybe, but at least I do what I love.

Bon anniversaire a toi.  Bon anniversaire a toi.  Bon anniversaire a Rose.  Bon anniversaire a toi.  Can I blow my candle?

PS: I have no idea what's going on at the moment.  Enjoy. 

What's the point?

Sorry for the small delay my small viewership, but you can't write blogs with a broken computer!

So I was reading some of my blogs and cracking up at the absurdities that I write because I'm a little "out the box" and I asked myself, "What's the fucking point?"

Well, the point is to have another opinion because we just don't have enough in the world.   So there you go.  I've been watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding on HBO and that was one of my favorite lines, "So there you go."  Definitely one of the funnier moments, but I am diverting from my point.  I think I am smart.  And I've met many people, most of whom think I am smart as well.  I've gotten a few stupids, couple of idiots, and one time a retarded opinion of me, but my thoughts, trials and tribulations are for the masses to understand and relate to.  I am a Hispanic female who's been beaten, criticized, made fun of, and been called a whore, so I can relate to 99% of women and 75% of males (made up figures).  But my biggest connection to you and the world is my inability to give up.  I think we all on some level will never give up because we have no choice.  And this is one of my moments where I am just not giving up on this blog, since it's my only outlet to the world at the moment. 

So what's the point?  The point is to be heard, to contribute, to give, to provide, and to be a part of something that matters.  This year I will be heading off to law school.  I wish my circumstances were a little bit better given my current situation, but I cannot stress enough how much I am looking forward to this,and I will paint a picture for you...

When I was ten years old, I competed with four other students to give the commencement speech at my elementary school graduation.  I won the opportunity and gave my grand gesture to the world.  In that speech I proclaimed my dream to become a lawyer or actress.  Before this event, when I was eight years old, I was playing with my cousins and they weren't being fair with me.  I told them that one day I would become a judge and sentence them to jail for their injustice.  Now I am starting my first year in law school and fulfilling my life long dream.  You know when they ask what you want to be when you grow up and you say whatever the fuck you say?  Well while most of you become managers at the Gap or cooks at El Torito (no offense) instead of following your dream, I have chosen to follow it.  I am in love with myself. If I can find someone like me, I will fall in love, but there are few of us.  So you know what?  The point is to LIVE!  The point is to SHARE!  The point is to realize your potential and FOLLOW IT!  And the point is to remember what you wanted to be when you grow up and try it; it will probably be something you'll love greatly, and therefore, work really hard for it.  Very inspirational.

"People create their own questions because they are afraid to look straight. All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it -walk."   - Ayn Rand

San Pedro Sula.

If you have ever read my other blog www.thetravelcompanion.blogspot.com you will find out that I lived in Honduras for two years and three months before coming back to the States.  I had my reasons for moving and I don't regret it one bit, but I do have to say that if you read what I wrote about Honduras, you might just catch a glimpse into the madness that lays in Central America.  Anyone living in the Americas should at one point in their lives visit both Central and South America to get a complete understanding of their land and the culture they were born from or came to learn and love (or love to hate).

For the first year in Central America, I lived in San Pedro Sula, currently the second most dangerous city after Cape Town, South Africa, according to urbantitan.com.   San Pedro Sula reminded me a lot of Los Angeles.  The infrastructure was built in a similar way, and the traffic in the city was horrendous.  But what most reminded me of LA were the shenanigans that took place every single day in the city.  Central Park was the place where everything started and ended.  Sometimes I would see concerts in the streets, followed by riots and arrests.  Other times I would see marches taking place, followed by riots and arrests.  And my favorite were the soccer games where I would see the national team either win or lose, followed by riots and arrests.  I remember one specific even where my ex-fiancee and I went to a soccer match to watch the national team play against Mexico (my fave).  At one point, people started throwing beer at our section because we wouldn't sit down.  My ex made some hoodlum friends and decided to run up the stadium and beat the shit out of the people that were throwing beer.  He didn't get too far before the cops came and took him along with two others away in handcuffs.  I was completely freaking out and wanted to go look for him, so I took my white girl friend and looked for the idiot.  In the midst of all of this, I ran into some policemen and told me that chances are he either got out of the stadium or had gotten his ass kicked and got out of the stadium.  I freaked out even more and called his cell.  Before you know it, he was back in the field, in our seats, waiting for me to come back.  While walking back, I got my ass pinched and wanted to scream.

The best part was the story he told me.  The boys that had gotten kicked out with him were given two choices:  get kicked out or get your ass whooped and go back to your seat.  They chose the latter; my ex chose the former.  He then bought another ticket outside for $2.50 and came back with a different shirt.  Good times.

He got arrested a total two times, but was never charged.  I am glad he is no longer my fiancee.

San Pedro Sula has its faults, but its beauty lies in the chaos that keeps this city hanging on by a thread.  There are many things wrong with this city:  crime, corruption, extreme poverty, no middle class, and a population of children running it.  I still think it's beautiful and would live there again, if given the chance.  The only difference would be that I would have lots of money and a fiancee that didn't beat me.  Maybe I would feel just a tad bit safer.  But surviving and thriving in the city, for me, is just another indicator of the bad-assery I have in my soul and the strength I carry wherever I go.


On a side note, I was never arrested, assaulted, or bothered by any many, woman, or child while living in San Pedro Sula.  The closest I came to a crime was watching a hold up on a Thursday afternoon after work.  It wasn't so bad and the lady still got home.  We can all manage.  


To check out the source: http://urbantitan.com/the-10-most-dangerous-cities-in-2012/

Savages.

I saw the movie "Savages" last night.  I must admit I wanted to go see "Ted" instead, but my sister and cousin dragged me to the movie theater to watch this new one with Blake Lively and Salma Hayek.

Let me give you a synopsis of the movie just so you can understand my frustrations and overall negative attitude of this movie....

It was a summer's day in the middle of some beach.  Blake Lively narrates the story giving us a glimpse into the future and her ambiguous message of life and death.  She states at one point, "Just because I am talking write now does not mean I may be alive.  Maybe I pre-recorded this conversation..."  Right then I knew the audacious, far-fetched script would be a comical one at best.  The main character, Ophelia is involved with two willing gentlemen in a triangle relationship.  She fucks one and makes love to the other, as she puts it.   The two gentlemen, Ben and Chon, are one of the most successful pot growers in California (and the world) looking to get out of the drug-dealing business game.  They are approached by the destructible and malicious Mexican cartel whose leader, Salma Hayek, kidnaps Ophelia and take her hostage to force the two gentlemen to go to business with her.  Their response is to kidnap the woman's daughter and trade Ophelia in exchange.  Towards the end there are two separate endings, the correct one being that the DEA gets involved, they arrest the drug cartel leader, and the three love birds head out to South East Asia to live the rest of their lives in seclusion.

I talk about it mostly because of the two women in the lead roles.  Both women were a symbol for a new wave of women in the forefront of change in the world.  On one hand, you have the leader of a Mexican drug cartel being a woman whose husband and sons were killed in the drug wars.  She took command and in most instances showed no mercy when confronted with opposition.  The second women had a relationship with two hot men that were more than willing to be involved with this one girl and even live together.  Now I have no problem with such a fantastical plot of a movie nor the level of control the women show in the movie.  I mean it's Hollywood.  But the execution of this film was so incredibly ridiculous, I couldn't take one bit of that story seriously.  At one point Salma Hayel takes her wig off leading laughter in the audience.  Her daughter had just been kidnapped.  The acting from the two ladies was a fake best and completely incredulous.  The two girls at onepoint live together as if roomates, but one is kidnapped and the other the kidnapper.  It just seemed that all of the elements of this movie were absolutely fake from beginning to end.  This caused for their leadership roles in the film to be comical, irrelevant and unbelievable. 

This is my personal opinion and you could take it or leave it.  I just have to remind you of the cost of movie tickets and maybe watching a teddy bear smoking out of a bong might just be more laughter appropriate than watching a woman breakdown and take off a wig.

PS: Salma looks cross-eyed in the first picture.

Happy birthday America.

My fourth of July was pretty awesome.  I went to a friend's house to watch a fireworks show because what's more American than fireworks on your country's birthday.  But fireworks are more than just pretty lights exploding in the sky.  They're a symbol.  A symbol for the beginning of a dominant nation kicking the British's arses during the American Revolution.  A symbol for the bad-ass contract these forefathers wrote to declare our independence.  Because of these gentlemen, I live in a world where I can declare that I am an atheist that smoke pot and will never marry.  Now if this is true or not is completely irrelevant, but the fact that I can make that statement is completely connected to the fireworks I saw today. 

In my neighborhood I still here and see the fireworks.  I love America.  I love being a fucking social liberal and fiscal conservative.  I love my president, my army, my Congress, and my Supreme Court.  I love my constitution.  And I love my unalienable rights that I was born with because I was born in this country.  I normally go against the wind, but today I am proud to be an American. 

I even ate Krispy Kreme today, which I never do, in honor of America.  As a Mexican-American, I can be bitter about the land that was taken from our country, but I can't hate because I was born here and regardless of these white people, this is my country, this is my land, and this is my freedom.

Happy fourth of July.  Happy birthday again America.  I'll make sure to light up a big one just for you on your special day. 

"This is America."

You are mean.

I've always been characterized as mean.  I don't know why.  But I do.  I have a short temper.  I am smart.  I am honest.  Because of these three personality traits, I am mean.  And it goes without saying that I most certainly embrace it.

I have no compassion for feelings.  I think this comes from my experiences growing up as an ugly girl before becoming decent to look at.  Being an ugly kid had its advantages.  I got to learn the truth behind the way people treat you based on looks.  Going from invisible to desirable had a negative effect on my perception of society.  It was very difficult to trust anyone because I was never really sure what their intentions were.  And I still feel this way today.  But because I realized early that people may have many different motives for their actions, feelings became irrelevant.  Especially in high school.  One particular person taught me a very valuable lesson.  I was the object of this person's desires.  For 6 months he treated me like the only girl in the world.  He devoted all of his time to getting me to like him.  And it worked.  I was completely infatuated by this person to the point where I was concentrated mostly on him and less on my school work.  But in the end, it didn't work out.  It actually went so badly that I left school for my last semester because of all the rumors that went on about me.  Now I could care less about this mess, but I am making a point about who I am.  I built a very thick shell after this.  This person not only got what he wanted, but his feelings for me were completely irrelevant when it came down to destroying my reputation.  I understood then that people didn't care about my feelings, so why should I?

I'm not going to say that this moment made me become mean.  That is not the case.  I was mean before, and  I will continue to be mean afterwards.  But what happened in that time was a revelation unlike anything I could imagine.  I was confronted with a reality that meant the winners are the mean-spirited, driven, egotistical, selfish bastards that are willing to bring down those who trust them in order to get ahead.  And I knew that no matter what my beliefs are, I had to take feelings out of the equation.  Feelings are feelings, they are not tangible or relevant.

Even today looking back at seven years of my life I wasted, I can say that my feelings for life are the same.  I have a purpose bigger than what anyone can imagine, and I will do everything in my power to attain.  I guess I was just built that way.

But the reason I talk about being mean is because I have been brutally and unjustifiably mean to a number of people that love me.  It got me thinking about why people are mean and why they choose to say the things they do.  This five year old little boy is being nice to me and simply asking me questions about life.  All I want to do is tell him to shut up and watch tv.  Is it mean?  Do I even care?  I have yet to figure this out.  But what I do know is my short temper, my intelligence, and my honesty.  I won't give them up for anything (except the short temper).  I hope this makes sense. 

"Donate to the children's fund?  Why?  What have the children ever done for me?" - Mr. Krab

Acceptance and Rejection.

It's been a while.  I know and I am not sorry.  The truth is I haven't been inspired to write and I have been busy. 

So I wanted to write about acceptance and rejection.  My goal is to go to law school.  I worked for a year to take my LSATs and apply to all of the schools in California.  I was rejected by 95% of the school I applied to; I got accepted to one school and I am waiting for one more school to make my final decision.  Now that the time has come to make my choice, I have looked back at my accomplishments so far and my willingness to risk everything for a dream.  I have been a big risk taker.  I feel like I strive more so to be rejected than to be accepted.  I know it's crazy to say that, but it's the fucking truth.

So what to do now.  Well, I will focus on school.  I have rejected the idea of finding a man to leach off of in order to fulfill my fantasies.  And I have big fantasies.  So big that I can't fail.  Rejection to me is simply a challenge to prove someone/something wrong.  And I refuse to settle for the absolute bottom.  I refuse to settle for anything except excellence (complete and total acceptance).  I may take the unbeaten path, but I will find the way to the life I believe I deserve.

I have this poster board in my room that dictates some of things I believe in.  I look at it every morning when I wake up and I know what my expectations are as a person, as a human, as a great woman.  Some of the slogans, "Never hide,"  or "Regrets Nothing,"  only fuels my ambition to be great and make  a lot of money.  And money is very important.  It is the value that we humans use to determine the level of success a person reaches.  Rupert Murdoch may be a crazy fuck, but he's able to control the US media because of the amount of money he is able to bring and what he can do with it.  That's the power, ambition and selfishness I am talking about.  We reject his beliefs, but accept his product because of his power.  What am I talking about?

 So what's next?  Law school.  Then, the world.  Take a look at me everybody;  I have been accepted and will not accept rejection under any circumstances.