I've had a bunch of bad things happen to me, but it just seems like the worse happens when I approach a milestone in my life. This week is my final week to prepare for final exams and I am really prepping. But I also dealt with soda spillage on my keyboard and someone stealing my license plate and scratching my car because I don't know...I guess I have enemies at the school...mind you its a fucking law school where ethics is taught, revered and expected. But here, I've had this situation. I am thinking more about what it all means more than anything. I am one to think that bad shit just happens because it does, but today it was no ordinary day of bad shit. It just felt like I was paying for everything wrong that I have done. It started yesterday with coffee spilling on the floor of my car. I dealt with it, no problem. Then I bombed a test for one of my classes, a practice test, but a test nonetheless. Fine, I will study. Then the spillage of the soda on my computer. AHHHHHHH! Why oh why did this happen to me?!?!? And finally, the vandalism of my personal property and theft of my license plate. Mother fucking asshole. MOTHER FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!! But now I am home, writing on my computer and thankful that my roommates are computer engineers and they have a wireless keyboard that I could use should mine break down, for whatever reason. So I guess it's not so bad. On the other hand, I could still be in that other hell of a life I created with the cheating, beating significant other, but you know what, I am okay. I have been through worse, I'm not going to lie to you; so I will defeat all my adversaries and will continue to thrive because excuses are for the weak, and obstacles are for the strong to climb over and dominate. Watch me while I dominate. I can only be me, and me is more than good enough.
Have a pleasant night.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Je suis retourné...temporairement
In the middle of law school...and I should be studying and working on my outlines, but I figured I take some time and show you that I am not dead, insane, or in jail.
Well, I have had an interesting couple of months where I have met a number of different people that have made me just more aware of myself. I don't think I am perfect, and not even close, but what I do seem to have is some grasp on what balance means in life. People don't believe the things that I do because they don't do them, and it is really sad to see that. I don't like to lie, and I am an awful liar, so I just do what I do and hope that it's the best choice for me. Where am I going with this...I don't know.
I can talk to you about the mundane life I have; my classes, which are interesting because of the teachers or the neat people I have met. But I will only talk about one person. This person has captivated me, like someone I knew before. But I know that I must stay away. I have gone through this pattern of behavior and know that what I want I can never truly have because no one will ever have me, and I want someone like me. So I am extremely attracted to the assholes, since I am in some sense a bitch, and I will always get hurt in the matters of love because I can't love anyone truly except myself. Yet I always get tangled in this web of intrigue because I love it. I am bored with the nice guy, always and fascinated with the out-of-ordinary experience. I guess Tom Leykis is correct in this aspect. But what is really interesting is that I do not know how this person feels about me. I can only assume that I am a little fascinating, but then again, I can be a complete bore to him. Yes, I said him. But in the end who really knows.
I wanted to write this down because I just needed to vent it out. There is no one that understands my dilemma and will probably never do because nobody is like me. They may have similar circumstances, but in the end, just in like in every fucking case I read, these circumstances as ALWAYS distinguishable. You just have to argue it correctly. So now I am just feeling hot, lonely, and frustrated. I don't always get what I want, and that really pisses me off. But what I do know is that I will get him, just like every other person I have gone after because in the end, all we really want is just a taste. Our curiosity leads us to a series of paths, and even if we head down the wrong direction, we always seem to know where we're going and find our way back to what we really want. So what do I want? I want to be free. And that means chaining myself to something so that I know I don't want it. And if I come across a path that will take me to what I want, well that will make things more balanced. And if it turns out to be shit, well I can always just run away and start over.
That's the great thing about life, and people; there are so many that one person is simply just not enough.
I don't know who's reading this, but hopefully you'll find some inspiration from it. Or realize what the hell is going on in my head. Toodles.
Well, I have had an interesting couple of months where I have met a number of different people that have made me just more aware of myself. I don't think I am perfect, and not even close, but what I do seem to have is some grasp on what balance means in life. People don't believe the things that I do because they don't do them, and it is really sad to see that. I don't like to lie, and I am an awful liar, so I just do what I do and hope that it's the best choice for me. Where am I going with this...I don't know.
I can talk to you about the mundane life I have; my classes, which are interesting because of the teachers or the neat people I have met. But I will only talk about one person. This person has captivated me, like someone I knew before. But I know that I must stay away. I have gone through this pattern of behavior and know that what I want I can never truly have because no one will ever have me, and I want someone like me. So I am extremely attracted to the assholes, since I am in some sense a bitch, and I will always get hurt in the matters of love because I can't love anyone truly except myself. Yet I always get tangled in this web of intrigue because I love it. I am bored with the nice guy, always and fascinated with the out-of-ordinary experience. I guess Tom Leykis is correct in this aspect. But what is really interesting is that I do not know how this person feels about me. I can only assume that I am a little fascinating, but then again, I can be a complete bore to him. Yes, I said him. But in the end who really knows.
I wanted to write this down because I just needed to vent it out. There is no one that understands my dilemma and will probably never do because nobody is like me. They may have similar circumstances, but in the end, just in like in every fucking case I read, these circumstances as ALWAYS distinguishable. You just have to argue it correctly. So now I am just feeling hot, lonely, and frustrated. I don't always get what I want, and that really pisses me off. But what I do know is that I will get him, just like every other person I have gone after because in the end, all we really want is just a taste. Our curiosity leads us to a series of paths, and even if we head down the wrong direction, we always seem to know where we're going and find our way back to what we really want. So what do I want? I want to be free. And that means chaining myself to something so that I know I don't want it. And if I come across a path that will take me to what I want, well that will make things more balanced. And if it turns out to be shit, well I can always just run away and start over.
That's the great thing about life, and people; there are so many that one person is simply just not enough.
I don't know who's reading this, but hopefully you'll find some inspiration from it. Or realize what the hell is going on in my head. Toodles.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
America's Woes.
Since I consider this my way of sharing with the world, I wanted to share some things that just came to me.
I've been listening to The Tom Leykis Show and he's currently talking about the economy. He believes that after the elections, the economy will go down and unemployment will rise again. And that we need to prepare for the absolute worst. Tom Leykis was right when the real-estate bubble burst and the banks collapsed, so he will more than likely be right about this as well.
So what does that mean for the rest of us? This means that we must conserve and protect our assets as much as we can because we don't really know our future. I have always been a non-believer in the idea of corporations being the answer to all of our problems. This belief came when my dad was stabbed in the back by the company he once worked in for over 35 years. Out of nowhere they decided to move the factory to China and ay off all of its employees. I won't mention the company, but I will say that it was a precursor to what many companies would be doing and are currently doing now. It's happening in many industries. These companies that are "too big to fail" cut costs by downsizing their employment numbers and making their works take all of the grunt work that was left behind in order to continue making money for the individuals that actually don't do anything except make bad decisions and lose more money.
But this is also the way that it is because of the people. We the people of the United States, in order to try to form a more perfect union, have given these companies free reign to consume us all because we believed that they had out best interests at heart when in reality they were all fucking us in ass and taking our money. We let this happen, and for many reasons. We saw how much money they were making and we said to ourselves, "Hey, I can make that too! It's the American Dream!" We were also brainwashed by ALL media to believe that it's patriotic to buy McDonalds and subsidize the tobacco industry. And we all saw how easy it was for the Kardashians to become rich and famous by simply sitting on their fat-asses and watching the fattest one get fucked and pissed on by a black man, and having the mother sell the tape for profit and fame. We've become dependent on all of this and we are unwilling to actually work hard and become the country we were meant to be: great. We don't have enough people for the engineering, technological jobs and hire people from overseas. Why? Because we don't want to go to school. We are just so lazy. And we think we're the bet, which then makes us think that we have it all when we actually don't. We have stupid people everywhere, and I for one am sick and tired of hearing people complain. Complain about their jobs, complain about their marriages, complain about their fucking cars, complain about their fucking weight. Yet they do the same shit every fucking day. They don't change, and they don't see progress.
I know I am all over the place, but I am just done. I will work hard everyday so I won't end up like a fucking loser. I don't want to work for anyone except myself. I want to earn every fucking penny and be selfish for everything that I do. I believe that we can one day be the great country we were destined to be. It's all a simple matter of switching gears from taking taking taking to providing, contributing, and succeeding. Until that happens, we will continue to flush ourselves down the shitter.
I've been listening to The Tom Leykis Show and he's currently talking about the economy. He believes that after the elections, the economy will go down and unemployment will rise again. And that we need to prepare for the absolute worst. Tom Leykis was right when the real-estate bubble burst and the banks collapsed, so he will more than likely be right about this as well.
So what does that mean for the rest of us? This means that we must conserve and protect our assets as much as we can because we don't really know our future. I have always been a non-believer in the idea of corporations being the answer to all of our problems. This belief came when my dad was stabbed in the back by the company he once worked in for over 35 years. Out of nowhere they decided to move the factory to China and ay off all of its employees. I won't mention the company, but I will say that it was a precursor to what many companies would be doing and are currently doing now. It's happening in many industries. These companies that are "too big to fail" cut costs by downsizing their employment numbers and making their works take all of the grunt work that was left behind in order to continue making money for the individuals that actually don't do anything except make bad decisions and lose more money.
But this is also the way that it is because of the people. We the people of the United States, in order to try to form a more perfect union, have given these companies free reign to consume us all because we believed that they had out best interests at heart when in reality they were all fucking us in ass and taking our money. We let this happen, and for many reasons. We saw how much money they were making and we said to ourselves, "Hey, I can make that too! It's the American Dream!" We were also brainwashed by ALL media to believe that it's patriotic to buy McDonalds and subsidize the tobacco industry. And we all saw how easy it was for the Kardashians to become rich and famous by simply sitting on their fat-asses and watching the fattest one get fucked and pissed on by a black man, and having the mother sell the tape for profit and fame. We've become dependent on all of this and we are unwilling to actually work hard and become the country we were meant to be: great. We don't have enough people for the engineering, technological jobs and hire people from overseas. Why? Because we don't want to go to school. We are just so lazy. And we think we're the bet, which then makes us think that we have it all when we actually don't. We have stupid people everywhere, and I for one am sick and tired of hearing people complain. Complain about their jobs, complain about their marriages, complain about their fucking cars, complain about their fucking weight. Yet they do the same shit every fucking day. They don't change, and they don't see progress.
I know I am all over the place, but I am just done. I will work hard everyday so I won't end up like a fucking loser. I don't want to work for anyone except myself. I want to earn every fucking penny and be selfish for everything that I do. I believe that we can one day be the great country we were destined to be. It's all a simple matter of switching gears from taking taking taking to providing, contributing, and succeeding. Until that happens, we will continue to flush ourselves down the shitter.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
American Psycho.
I just finished watching American Psycho on HBO and I remembered just how absolutely ridiculous and brilliant this movie was.
The story is about a CEO named Patrick Bateman who's also a homicidal maniac. He's obsessed with his image to every distinct detail, including his physique, his hair, his nails, and even his business cards. He gets into all of the hot spots and is always seeking approval from his friends, so much so, that he goes out of his way to become other people in his group and make them look ridiculous. This image he holds so dearly is a facade for the inner killer he has inside. He dreams about killing, draws about it, and fantasizes about it, all while trying to suppress the urge to kill.
As the story progresses, he begins to lose control of the true person inside and starts going on a killing spree. He picks up models, prostitutes, friends (mostly girls), and even kills one of the people he associates with. While this is going on, his girlfriend is completely oblivious to the fact that she may get killed and a cop, who's on Patrick's trail, has no idea that he is sitting in front of the killer.
As he goes crazy, he starts to kill random strangers on the street, blows up two police cars, and goes back to his apartment where he calls his lawyer and confesses to the murders. He leaves his lawyer a message and then the next day meets with his lawyer. When he meets with his lawyer, Patrick almost attacks him because he tells Patrick that it was all joke and not to worry about it. All of the bodies that he hid in a rented apartment mysteriously disappear and he continues on with his life as a CEO and homicidal maniac.
This movie was based on a book from one of my favorite authors, Bret Easton Ellis. Ellis is known for writing extremely dark and twisted "white America" novels of the rich and glamorous. I don't know much about his inspiration, but in my opinion, he is spotlighting the sick and perverted things that the rich engage in and get away with because of their money, power, and influence. They are all a work of fiction, but speaking from a writer's perspective, everything that is fiction is somewhat inspired by real life (even the sci-fi!). I know I said a lot about what goes on in the movie, but I find it fascinating because of the normalcy that goes on in the movie with the depraved in light living the life of a rich man with no qualms, no real problems, and no consequences.
This is an extreme case, but let's look at it with a real life perspective. Those with the money do have complete control of the system because they can buy their way out. Those "too big to fail" corporations of banks, food, real estate and any other god-damned company have this ability to get away with so much because of the money they made at one point and the power they have gained from paying people off. Even though this film is about the 1980's, when it all began, it's still relevant even today because we are now seeing the equivalent of Patrick Bateman calling his lawyer and confessing to these hideous crimes, only to be bailed out by other powerful individuals and allow him to continue living his greedy, depraved, pathetic life consumed by taking.
I don't now if that was a political statement or me babbling on. But what I do remember clearly is in the movie Ronald Reagan is giving his speech on foreign affairs and the four guys are all calling his bullshit. But that's just an observation.
On another note, there's a little irony between this Christian Bale and the incident that happened for the Batman Rises movie. Just a small coincidence, I guess.
"I have all of the characteristics of a human being. Flesh,
blood, skin, hair, but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for
greed and disgust. Something horrible is
happening inside of me. And I don’t know
why. My nightly blood lust has flowed
into my days. I feel lethal, on the
verge of frenzy. I think my mask of
sanity is about to slip." - Patrick Bateman
Mexico.
So would you look at this... I just finished watching the soccer match that will take Mexico towards the gold medal. I have not been watching the Olympics. Normally I would be extremely excited because I love watching a few sports that are out of the ordinary. But this year I am just not that excited. I blame it on a number of factors, but I'll begin with the worst one. The fucking summer games are in London. I don't have a problem with London because I've never been there, but if it's raining more than 50% of the time, the idea of "summer" should be reevaluated for the next Olympics. A more tropical feel would make these times a little more festive. The second thing that bothers me is mother fucking NBC and the times they cover the events. I love watching live action sports and personally do not want to watch things that have already happened. Because of this, I have just been skipping all of the events and choosing to go to the gym instead. And the third thing are the athletes. I just don't know any of them and I never got a chance to get to know them before hand. Plus the advertising was completely awful. I didn't even know the Olympics were coming on when they did and the only way I knew is because it's the two year mark for the world cup (every two years I know there's an important event, wither Olympics or World Cup). So I am not in the best of spirits to watch the Olympics.
But some has changed and that was because of Mexico. I am a big soccer fan and my favorite team is always Mexican or has a Mexican in it. Their sub-21 team has been unstoppable during the Olympics and have actually dominated their sport for quite some time. Now they have a chance to win a gold medal, and although I'll be somewhat of a hypocrite saying I'm excited, I am not because anything that has the Mexican soccer team winning is always exciting in my books. But this is something to be excited for because Mexico just performs so awfully in the Olympics that this is the one chance they may have at winning a gold medal, and to do it with the most popular, greatest sport out there would just be amazing.
I tried looking for highlights, but nothing, so I'll just post the national anthem.
But some has changed and that was because of Mexico. I am a big soccer fan and my favorite team is always Mexican or has a Mexican in it. Their sub-21 team has been unstoppable during the Olympics and have actually dominated their sport for quite some time. Now they have a chance to win a gold medal, and although I'll be somewhat of a hypocrite saying I'm excited, I am not because anything that has the Mexican soccer team winning is always exciting in my books. But this is something to be excited for because Mexico just performs so awfully in the Olympics that this is the one chance they may have at winning a gold medal, and to do it with the most popular, greatest sport out there would just be amazing.
I tried looking for highlights, but nothing, so I'll just post the national anthem.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Dreams.
I had a really crazy dream last night. I would say it was divided into three sections.
The first one I was in a run-down hotel in Las Vegas (side note: why do we sometimes just know where we're at?). I was with a lot of family members walking around and we got back to the hotel room.
When we and got back to the hotel room, it became glitzy and glamorous. I was wearing this black dress walking around with my cousin going towards my sister. We found her in another casino literally across town, so we started walking back. We going through a series of staircases, and we got towards the roof of a building, but apparently it was a walkway, so my cousin and I walked through, and some random guy comes behind of me and makes me touch his penis. He was wearing jeans, and as I touched it, I jumped. When this occurred I just kind of wet myself (I think it was pee) and wet the dress. So I ran back to the hotel room, which then turned into me laying on the bed.
The girls were getting ready to go out. My sister was being extremely obnoxious, and so I was not really interested in going. My cousin convinces me to go out, but I warned her that if she talks to me, I was going to kill my sister. So then she says something to me and I ignore her completely.
Before you know it, I am sitting in the front yard of my house. I am still mad at my sister, but I wouldn't talk to her or help her. So she starts moving her car towards a boat that she wants to connect the car to. As she moves her car, she starts to push the boat and continues pushing. I am staring at her not paying attention but also not speaking to her. She continues pushing until she slams the boat into this van, that looks like our old neighbor's van, and smashes in the bumper. Then the boat turns and she's backing up sideways, and she hits the car on the opposite side, leaving it with the front bumper coming off and the side rammed in. I run to go see the second car because I wanted to see the damage, as I am looking, she rams her car into a third vehicle, leaving it completely totaled, mirrors and windows broken, tires flattened. As I continue to look, my sister is in the middle of three cars and my aunt is to the side telling my sister that she couldn't wait to tell my mother, who's going to kill her. She continues to be bat-shit freaked out. I go to her and I tell her, "Call the insurance. It will be taken care of. Don't worry about mom." At that point all the cars are fixed and the third one (totaled one) is gone.
Then I wake up.
I could interpret this dream with a lot of interesting shit that has been going on with life. But I came to the conclusion that I just really need to start school.
The first one I was in a run-down hotel in Las Vegas (side note: why do we sometimes just know where we're at?). I was with a lot of family members walking around and we got back to the hotel room.
When we and got back to the hotel room, it became glitzy and glamorous. I was wearing this black dress walking around with my cousin going towards my sister. We found her in another casino literally across town, so we started walking back. We going through a series of staircases, and we got towards the roof of a building, but apparently it was a walkway, so my cousin and I walked through, and some random guy comes behind of me and makes me touch his penis. He was wearing jeans, and as I touched it, I jumped. When this occurred I just kind of wet myself (I think it was pee) and wet the dress. So I ran back to the hotel room, which then turned into me laying on the bed.
The girls were getting ready to go out. My sister was being extremely obnoxious, and so I was not really interested in going. My cousin convinces me to go out, but I warned her that if she talks to me, I was going to kill my sister. So then she says something to me and I ignore her completely.
Before you know it, I am sitting in the front yard of my house. I am still mad at my sister, but I wouldn't talk to her or help her. So she starts moving her car towards a boat that she wants to connect the car to. As she moves her car, she starts to push the boat and continues pushing. I am staring at her not paying attention but also not speaking to her. She continues pushing until she slams the boat into this van, that looks like our old neighbor's van, and smashes in the bumper. Then the boat turns and she's backing up sideways, and she hits the car on the opposite side, leaving it with the front bumper coming off and the side rammed in. I run to go see the second car because I wanted to see the damage, as I am looking, she rams her car into a third vehicle, leaving it completely totaled, mirrors and windows broken, tires flattened. As I continue to look, my sister is in the middle of three cars and my aunt is to the side telling my sister that she couldn't wait to tell my mother, who's going to kill her. She continues to be bat-shit freaked out. I go to her and I tell her, "Call the insurance. It will be taken care of. Don't worry about mom." At that point all the cars are fixed and the third one (totaled one) is gone.
Then I wake up.
I could interpret this dream with a lot of interesting shit that has been going on with life. But I came to the conclusion that I just really need to start school.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Netflix: Lost.
I just wrote an entrance monologue that got deleted by my computer. I was saying how much I hate tv and love my computer, but not so much at the moment.
Well I hate the tv. I do enjoy many shows, but they come out once a week. During the times when my favorite show is not on, it's all reality tv or re-runs, with bleeps because of the FCC. I fucking hate the FCC. So I've invested in a subscription to Netflix. It gives you so many options, including tv shows and movies. I am currently watching the entire Lost series.
I watched Lost when it was on the network tv, but I never watched it from the beginning. When it ended there was a lot of brouhaha over the ending because so many questions were not answered. I watched the first episode and it instantly connected to me that they were dead from the very beginning, and everything that happened did so because anything can happened at any point. It was an interpretation of death, and this is just another example of shit that we don't know.
I think once I get my hear wrapped around the concept, I may be able to give you a perspective. But Lost is on, and I am watching the entire series from beginning to end in hopes of finding out more information that I missed when I first watched it. I also would prefer to watch this shit than the Olympics. I really hate that I can't watch them in the morning. NBC is full of shit.
As of right now, I would recommend Lost. It won't be the only thing I watch and I hope to share with you some of the great movies that have a home on Netflix. Shit you have not hear of that might be of interest to you.
Well I hate the tv. I do enjoy many shows, but they come out once a week. During the times when my favorite show is not on, it's all reality tv or re-runs, with bleeps because of the FCC. I fucking hate the FCC. So I've invested in a subscription to Netflix. It gives you so many options, including tv shows and movies. I am currently watching the entire Lost series.
I watched Lost when it was on the network tv, but I never watched it from the beginning. When it ended there was a lot of brouhaha over the ending because so many questions were not answered. I watched the first episode and it instantly connected to me that they were dead from the very beginning, and everything that happened did so because anything can happened at any point. It was an interpretation of death, and this is just another example of shit that we don't know.
I think once I get my hear wrapped around the concept, I may be able to give you a perspective. But Lost is on, and I am watching the entire series from beginning to end in hopes of finding out more information that I missed when I first watched it. I also would prefer to watch this shit than the Olympics. I really hate that I can't watch them in the morning. NBC is full of shit.
As of right now, I would recommend Lost. It won't be the only thing I watch and I hope to share with you some of the great movies that have a home on Netflix. Shit you have not hear of that might be of interest to you.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
MTV Nominees.
The MTV Video Music Award nominees came out today. I am not that excited. I remember a time when I would get all amped up about the MTV Awards because it was so different from all the other awards. Now I don't even think MTV has the right to give out awards for videos because they just don't play music videos anymore. In fact, MTV should give out awards for the best fights (Teen Mom), the best statutory rapes (16 and Pregnant), and the best crotches getting hit (Ridiculousness). I say You Tube start making an awards ceremony because in all fairness, they're the only ones showing videos nowadays.
But anyways, here are the nominees.
Video of the Year
Drake f/ Rihanna - Take Care
Gotye - Somebody That I Used to Know
Katy Perry - Wide Awake
M.I.A. - Bad Girls
Rihanna - We Found Love
Best Female Video
Beyoncé - Love on Top
Katy Perry - Part of Me
Nicki Minaj - Starships
Rihanna - We Found Love
Selena Gomez & The Scene - Love You Like a Love Song
Best Male Video
Chris Brown - Turn Up the Music
Drake f/ Rihanna - Take Care
Frank Ocean - Swim Good
Justin Bieber - Boyfriend
Usher - Climax
Best Hip-Hop Video
Childish Gambino - Heartbeat
Drake f/ Lil Wayne - HYFR
Kanye West f/ Pusha T, Big Sean, and 2 Chainz - Mercy
Nicki Minaj f/ 2 Chainz - Beez in the Trap
The Throne - Paris
So there you go. The top songs played on the radio are also nominated for the best videos. It's all corporations now. It's the only way they're going to grab on to your money for another 5-10 years before they become completely obsolete. So in the meantime, keep listening to the radio, watch your non-video tv and pay for the music that is just not as good as it once was. The playing field will be leveled and all of these artists will actually have to work a little harder to take the money out of our pockets. And I do exclude Kanye West because there is really very little he can do to make me boycott him (PS: he's doing it right now).
Here are the videos for video of the year. Now you tell me if there are better videos or not.
Rihanna- We found Love (Yes, let's glorify an abusive relationship because it is just as great as how you're making it out to be Rihanna).
Gotye- Somebody That I Used To Know (One of the best videos and songs of the year. Thank Buddha I don't know him anymore)
Katy Perry - Wide Awake ( I don't like Katy Perry and her intro is horrible.)
M.I.A. - Bad Girls (Always interesting, always different. But she's a little chunky, so I can't take her too seriously).
Drake ft/Rihanna - Take Care (Like the song, hate the video and don't really like the artists performing it).
Now looking at all of these videos, there's a lot of color, a lot of heartbreak, and a lot of bad stuff. This is what MTV glorifies. This is the contribution they give to the world. Thank you MTV.
But anyways, here are the nominees.
Video of the Year
Drake f/ Rihanna - Take Care
Gotye - Somebody That I Used to Know
Katy Perry - Wide Awake
M.I.A. - Bad Girls
Rihanna - We Found Love
Best Female Video
Beyoncé - Love on Top
Katy Perry - Part of Me
Nicki Minaj - Starships
Rihanna - We Found Love
Selena Gomez & The Scene - Love You Like a Love Song
Best Male Video
Chris Brown - Turn Up the Music
Drake f/ Rihanna - Take Care
Frank Ocean - Swim Good
Justin Bieber - Boyfriend
Usher - Climax
Best Hip-Hop Video
Childish Gambino - Heartbeat
Drake f/ Lil Wayne - HYFR
Kanye West f/ Pusha T, Big Sean, and 2 Chainz - Mercy
Nicki Minaj f/ 2 Chainz - Beez in the Trap
The Throne - Paris
So there you go. The top songs played on the radio are also nominated for the best videos. It's all corporations now. It's the only way they're going to grab on to your money for another 5-10 years before they become completely obsolete. So in the meantime, keep listening to the radio, watch your non-video tv and pay for the music that is just not as good as it once was. The playing field will be leveled and all of these artists will actually have to work a little harder to take the money out of our pockets. And I do exclude Kanye West because there is really very little he can do to make me boycott him (PS: he's doing it right now).
Here are the videos for video of the year. Now you tell me if there are better videos or not.
Rihanna- We found Love (Yes, let's glorify an abusive relationship because it is just as great as how you're making it out to be Rihanna).
Gotye- Somebody That I Used To Know (One of the best videos and songs of the year. Thank Buddha I don't know him anymore)
Katy Perry - Wide Awake ( I don't like Katy Perry and her intro is horrible.)
M.I.A. - Bad Girls (Always interesting, always different. But she's a little chunky, so I can't take her too seriously).
Drake ft/Rihanna - Take Care (Like the song, hate the video and don't really like the artists performing it).
Now looking at all of these videos, there's a lot of color, a lot of heartbreak, and a lot of bad stuff. This is what MTV glorifies. This is the contribution they give to the world. Thank you MTV.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Yes You Can.
Reading an article on "The Atlantic" on "Why Women Still Can't Have it All," ( http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/why-women-still-can-8217-t-have-it-all/9020/# ) I was baffled. Our women ancestors have fought hard for equality and we have come to a point in our lives where given the same circumstances between a man and a woman: they are equal. Yet I still read articles about women complaining that they don't make enough money, or they don't have enough time in the day to take care of their children. And my favorite is the complaint of losing their liberties because their children are taking it away from them.
We have been told time and time again that children are the one thing that will make us allhappy. but is that really the case? There are many people who love children and don't complain about it, like my mother. But then there are those women who have children, for whatever reason, and still complain that they want their time, the dreams, their freedom. But when someone chooses to have children, there is an inherent responsibility that comes with it. You are no longer the most important in your life. Your child becomes the most important person in your life. So why complain?
This lady, Annie-Marie Slaughter describes her successes in the work place, yet has lost control of her 14-year-old son. She describes on one hand how she had a dream job working for the department of state, but her son was falling into a pattern of mischief at his middle school. She made the choice to leaver her post and take care of her son leaving her to prompt the question of women having it all.
Tom Leykis made it plain and simple, "If you want to have it all, then don't have kids."
I have a similar take on it, but I will elaborate to better understand my opinion in this matter. Having children again means that your freedom comes second to the responsibility. It goes both ways for men and women. In that sense, we are all equal. Both men and women have the choice to have children or to have a career. Just because the woman carries the baby in their body does not take away from the fact that a man can also make the choice to have a kid. Given those circumstances, I believe that both men and women have to choose whether they want the career or the child. And if you choose to have both, there are consequences that both parties must face because a child is the biggest responsibility that an adult can take.
I say stop making it an issue about sex, because that's caveman talk. It's an issue simply of what you want most and what you are willing to sacrifice. Women tend to bitch and complain about having too much work and not enough time with the kids. Men on the other hand understand the consequences and take their own risk. Maybe it's time us women own up to our choices and stop complaining about them. In the end, you birth the baby, so maybe you should let someone else who has the time handle the big jobs.
I won't have kids because I want to be accessible to my employer whenever needed. I choose not to have kids because I don't want to end up picking between my job and my kids. If I have kids and I am forced to choose them over my dreams, I will hate my choice to have them, which is not fair to them.
To Anne-Marie: you made your bed, now lay in it. If you wanted to be a successful individual, then maybe you should of thought about having kids a little more carefully as there is a risk with every choice we make in this world.
To Tom Leykis: thank you for the great article. You're on point and women make it way too easy for you to pick on them. Fucking bitches.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Opinions.
There is nothing wrong with an opinion. Everyone has them. It's our right as Americans to have opinions. About everything. But when does an opinion become more than just that? When does it become an actual criticism? Or even an actual insult?
I have two stories to share. One in national news, and a personal one that happened to me today.
The first one is a headline that has been plaguing the news for many reasons. Fast-food chain CEO of Chik-fil-a recently came out against same-sex marriage. He was asked about his donations to certain groups as that focus on "maintaining the sanctity of marriage," to which his response was, "guilty as charged." This little public declaration has gotten people to talk about the issue of same-sex marriage in this country. Now everyone is entitled to their own opinions. But keeping them to yourself is one thing and blasting them to the world is another. When you keep your opinions to yourself, you don't get caught in a tangled web of other opinions judging your declaration. But when you declare a bold statement, your expectation is to have a number of people come at you from all angles with all their bullshit opinions that really don't mean anything. I don't care for marriage. But I do believe in equality, and if someone wants to ruin their life by getting married, then everyone has the right to ruin their lives by getting married, to any human they see fit. But my point is this. Had this CEO just shut the fuck up, then he probably would not be in this situation. Now he's being banned in a number of different cities, people are boycotting their food, and others are getting fatter in support of this hate-filled food chain.
On the other hand, today I went to lunch with a few family members. I have kept my law school acceptance to myself becasue my family iw known to criticize to the point of hating on other people's successes. So today my mother happened to mention that she was buying me a laptop for my birthday because I was getting ready to go back to school. My aunt then proceeded to probe me on my decision. She asked where I was going, I told her to a school about three hours from my hometown. Then she proceeded to say that they were going to charge me a grip load, that would I be able to do it, and what am I thinking going off to school. Now listening to this, I was thinking, don't say anything. But the truth is this: her family is also getting themselves in to situations that are highly risky. Her daughter is in the process of purchasing a vehicle she may not be able to afford, and her son just bought a house with a wife that's 50% committed to the relationship, from what I have seen and heard. And here she comes giving me her opinion about things that don't really concern her, and things she has no idea of because she hasn't actually taken the time to research and really know in order to talk. I, on the other hand, have done my research, I tried my very hardest to get into a school near my hometown, but didn't not get in for whatever reason. I simply answered to her, "I know it's expensive, but to me it's an investment. I applied to schools here, but I am on the wait list, and school starts mid-August. I made this choice not because I want to move away and get tens of thousands of dollars in loans, but because this is what I want to do and I am tired of wasting my time doing things that I don't like, don't make enough money to stay, and simply don't want to do." Very simple, and neutral. We then proceeded to discuss how her son is moving to his new home near her house.
My point for both of these stories is this: Keep you fucking opinions to yourself. Nobody really cares what you think because chances are those with the loudest opinions are usually filled with hate. From national news to your home, an opinion is just that, wasting your breath is not going to change anything except the opinion someone has of you. Now Chik-fil-a's approval rating is at a 43%, from a 61%, and I will not mention anything about my life to this woman because in the end all this shit-talking doesn't really do much except piss people off.
I've never eaten at this Chik-fil-a place, and I don't plan on it. Now they have given me even more reason to avoid it. Because more than anything, I fucking hate haters.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Foul Language.
I use and will continue to use bad words in my blog. I enjoy using foul language and this is my escape to speak my mind whichever way I see fit.
If you don't like it or think that I am trash, that's okay. My recommendation to you is to find the "X" on the top right corner of your screen and use it. Thank you.
Celibacy.
I took a vow of celibacy in February after I stopped seeing this guy that turned out to be a little ridiculous. And to this day I have to say that I am not really missing sex. Now, I have gotten plenty of offers for dating, I'm not going to lie, but I am really just disgusted by all men and I really don't want anything from them at the moment. This disgust I talk about is not being attracted to men because I find many men attractive at the moment, too many to count. But when I think about their naked bodies on top of mine, the attraction just seems to disappear. I seem to crawl into my own skin and try my hardest not to think about it. Especially those fatties that are cute on the outside, but fluffy on the inside. They don't excite me at all.
I took a vow of celibacy from marriage when I was probably 10 years old. At the same time that I decided to become a lawyer, I knew that I would be able to take care of myself and would not need a man to take care of me. That vow was somewhat broken when I got engaged to the supposed "love of my life" but I never went through with the marriage. I had three opportunities to get married and each time there was something wrong with the paperwork, so it never really got to that point. I thank nature everyday that it never happened; I thank myself for never going through with it because I never want to get married.
Celibacy can be described as the vow toward the state of abstinence and the vow of never getting married. Marriage to me seems to antiquated, as I have said before, and I don't think it fits well in the 21st century. But to take a vow of celibacy has meant that I am no longer interested in the opposite sex at all. I don't need a man for anything and I am quite content with that predicament. I have my family and my future to worry about.
One day I may just want to have sex again, who knows. But never will there be a time where I will be so devoted to a man that I would want to share my wealth with him. Furthermore, I think it has a lot to do with the way I feel about men in general. Men today are so scared of any kind of commitment, it's completely unattractive. I understand if boys want to fuck around and get their dicks taken care of by more than one person, but it is not appetizing to me to think that the guy I am seeing has had his dick in another girl's pussy just the night before. And the ones who are not playing their little games are complete total pussies that fall in love immediately. Can we just have a medium? Nope, that's asking for a little too much.
So here's to all the boys that I have met. Thank you for bringing me to this state of mind. I don't miss you; I don't need you, and the sex wasn't that good. But we did have lots of fun in the moment. Until the next time, I will keep my legs closed and focus on what is important: family, money and success.
I recommend you sluts do the same.
I took a vow of celibacy from marriage when I was probably 10 years old. At the same time that I decided to become a lawyer, I knew that I would be able to take care of myself and would not need a man to take care of me. That vow was somewhat broken when I got engaged to the supposed "love of my life" but I never went through with the marriage. I had three opportunities to get married and each time there was something wrong with the paperwork, so it never really got to that point. I thank nature everyday that it never happened; I thank myself for never going through with it because I never want to get married.
Celibacy can be described as the vow toward the state of abstinence and the vow of never getting married. Marriage to me seems to antiquated, as I have said before, and I don't think it fits well in the 21st century. But to take a vow of celibacy has meant that I am no longer interested in the opposite sex at all. I don't need a man for anything and I am quite content with that predicament. I have my family and my future to worry about.
One day I may just want to have sex again, who knows. But never will there be a time where I will be so devoted to a man that I would want to share my wealth with him. Furthermore, I think it has a lot to do with the way I feel about men in general. Men today are so scared of any kind of commitment, it's completely unattractive. I understand if boys want to fuck around and get their dicks taken care of by more than one person, but it is not appetizing to me to think that the guy I am seeing has had his dick in another girl's pussy just the night before. And the ones who are not playing their little games are complete total pussies that fall in love immediately. Can we just have a medium? Nope, that's asking for a little too much.
So here's to all the boys that I have met. Thank you for bringing me to this state of mind. I don't miss you; I don't need you, and the sex wasn't that good. But we did have lots of fun in the moment. Until the next time, I will keep my legs closed and focus on what is important: family, money and success.
I recommend you sluts do the same.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Pusha T.
I wasn't a big a fan of Pusha T. I heard him on a number of Kanye tracks (Runaway and So Appalled) and he just seemed to me like one of those commercial rappers that has no real skill. But then I heard Exodus 23:1 and I was convinced otherwise.
I am fan of the gritty hip hop that is missing in mainstream music and is desperately missed by the fans. I want the balls back in hip hop because all these little bitches running around talking about love, chains, cars, and bullshit just seems completely commercial and pathetic, in my opinion. I miss the days of NWA, Westcoast hip hop, and Tupac, all who kept hip hop in the hood and showcased what really went down in their minds and in their culture. You see I am from the hood. I won't mention where, but I was fortunate enough to have parents that kept me away from the madness. But I still like to represent where I come from and what my culture is like, so I take a bow to those that don't sugar coat their bullshit with sex. This is real; this is hard.
This song is supposed to be a diss to Drake (I hate Drake). More power to you Pusha T. There's a fool that's completely missing balls in his music. In my opinion, Drake is just a factory created copy-cat of Kanye West that Lil' Wayne wants to shove down our throats because he can't come up with something original. Same with Nicki Minaj (a little more original, but a hip hop version of Lady Gaga and Rihanna). You see that is what's wrong with mainstream hip-hop. I've even heard it. They all try to copy the same rapper's music (Jay-Z) and become the president of a successful label. Let's get some originality in this bitch already. I'm tired of hearing some idiot talk about how he will take care of some girl. Bitch, please.
Children.
I don't know if I have made myself clear on the subject of children. But if I haven't, then let's just get one thing straight. I don't like children and they don't like me. I have never been a fan of children and I must say I hated most of my youth, particularly teenage years because of the nonsense I had to put up with in order to become an adult. My experiences with children can be summed up with a few just to show my distaste for children.
The first one came when I was about 8 years old. I was at a neighbor's party and this little girl would not stop staring at me. Now this is a thing little kids do, which drives me crazy. I know it's curiosity, but let's face it, nobody likes to be stared at for too long. Well this kid kept staring, so I gently nudge her in the head (I think she was 5) and her mother went crazy on me. Well in the end I had to leave the party, but that little bitch never stared at me again.
The second one was when I was in high school. A bunch of kids decided to gang up on me for whatever reason and spread rumors about the shit I did with guys that I was dating ( all in the span of two years). Obviously these children's lives were so mundane that they had to pick at mine. So I almost got into a couple of fights, which I would have loved because I wanted to beat the shit out of this little Asian girls thinking she was the shit. It never came to that and I even pushed her a few times. I like to think she was afraid of me. Kat, if you're reading this, I'll take you on any fucking day bitch. But anyways, I graduated from high school and went on to college.
The third one(s) were my years teaching children. I know; I'm a masochist with tendencies to seek the things that will hurt me the most. But I enjoyed teaching. the only problem was that I was teaching children. And I have very little patience for children, so you can only imagine what kind of shit came out of my mouth. I've called children stupid (because they are stupid sometimes and honesty can be the best policy). I've gotten into arguments with children. I've told them that if they don't act right, they'll be failures and losers for the rest of their lives. I've threatened children. And one time I was even accused of pulling an 8 year old's hair as a form of punishment (IT WAS NOT THE CASE, but the bitch lied).
So what does that say about me? I should not have children. And I will never have children. From a very young age, I would say between 8-10, I said that I would never have children. I still feel that same way to day and I will continue to feel that same way because I don't want children. They will not make my life complete. They will not be a blessing to my life. They will hinder my life and my capabilities. They will drain all of the happiness because my life will no longer be as important as theirs. I don't want to be responsible for anyone except myself. I am that selfish, and I don't have the mom-gene. Furthermore, my abilities to raise a kid will more than likely lead any kid to potentially become the next psychopathic killer. I have no patience for children.
I also take a look at the world today. The divorce rate is at a 50%. People are just not staying together anymore. And I don't want to be a single mother. Do you know how many guys stay away from single mothers? They've made the mistake once; they will probably do it again. And the chances that a father will leave a household nowadays is the same as betting red or black on a roulette table. Not taking any chances with those shitty chances.
Some of you may feel like I'm insane for saying those things. I do not recommend you follow my lead unless you feel the same way. If for some strange reason you feel the need to have kids, then go for it. I am not one to say, "Do this or do that!" I don't really care of people's choices. But this is my choice and I choose to live a single, adult, child-free life.
So I don't like children. I am one of millions of people that do not like children. I don't want to show them how to clean their asses, how to put a tampon on, and what masturbation is. I am good with being alone, and children will not make my life complete. I think I'll stick to animals for companionship, thank you very much!
The first one came when I was about 8 years old. I was at a neighbor's party and this little girl would not stop staring at me. Now this is a thing little kids do, which drives me crazy. I know it's curiosity, but let's face it, nobody likes to be stared at for too long. Well this kid kept staring, so I gently nudge her in the head (I think she was 5) and her mother went crazy on me. Well in the end I had to leave the party, but that little bitch never stared at me again.
The second one was when I was in high school. A bunch of kids decided to gang up on me for whatever reason and spread rumors about the shit I did with guys that I was dating ( all in the span of two years). Obviously these children's lives were so mundane that they had to pick at mine. So I almost got into a couple of fights, which I would have loved because I wanted to beat the shit out of this little Asian girls thinking she was the shit. It never came to that and I even pushed her a few times. I like to think she was afraid of me. Kat, if you're reading this, I'll take you on any fucking day bitch. But anyways, I graduated from high school and went on to college.
The third one(s) were my years teaching children. I know; I'm a masochist with tendencies to seek the things that will hurt me the most. But I enjoyed teaching. the only problem was that I was teaching children. And I have very little patience for children, so you can only imagine what kind of shit came out of my mouth. I've called children stupid (because they are stupid sometimes and honesty can be the best policy). I've gotten into arguments with children. I've told them that if they don't act right, they'll be failures and losers for the rest of their lives. I've threatened children. And one time I was even accused of pulling an 8 year old's hair as a form of punishment (IT WAS NOT THE CASE, but the bitch lied).
So what does that say about me? I should not have children. And I will never have children. From a very young age, I would say between 8-10, I said that I would never have children. I still feel that same way to day and I will continue to feel that same way because I don't want children. They will not make my life complete. They will not be a blessing to my life. They will hinder my life and my capabilities. They will drain all of the happiness because my life will no longer be as important as theirs. I don't want to be responsible for anyone except myself. I am that selfish, and I don't have the mom-gene. Furthermore, my abilities to raise a kid will more than likely lead any kid to potentially become the next psychopathic killer. I have no patience for children.
I also take a look at the world today. The divorce rate is at a 50%. People are just not staying together anymore. And I don't want to be a single mother. Do you know how many guys stay away from single mothers? They've made the mistake once; they will probably do it again. And the chances that a father will leave a household nowadays is the same as betting red or black on a roulette table. Not taking any chances with those shitty chances.
Some of you may feel like I'm insane for saying those things. I do not recommend you follow my lead unless you feel the same way. If for some strange reason you feel the need to have kids, then go for it. I am not one to say, "Do this or do that!" I don't really care of people's choices. But this is my choice and I choose to live a single, adult, child-free life.
So I don't like children. I am one of millions of people that do not like children. I don't want to show them how to clean their asses, how to put a tampon on, and what masturbation is. I am good with being alone, and children will not make my life complete. I think I'll stick to animals for companionship, thank you very much!
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
A Good Connection.
I am very irritated. This internet is acting up again and I don't understand considering that it is a DSL modem that's supposed to be fast and effective. Corporations are complete bullshit. They monopolize every little aspect of the market they're competing for, only to reduce the quality of the product and increase the price they sell it for. How does that relate to my internet connection you say? Well let me explain... I have a Verizon connection. Now their commercials are all about "having the highest speed with the most reliable connection." But here I am restarting my modem almost everyday just so I can have a connection, if any. But if I change to another internet service provider, like At&t or cable,I will still get the same quality, and probably pay the same, if not more. Now my complaint about corporations is very simple. If they want to monopolize a business, ensure that the quality of the product is worth removing all competition because at the end of the day if you take away our options and give us shit, what's the fucking point anyways?
And it's not just the internet industry; the clothing, food, banking industry are all run by a small percentage of people that really control the bulk of the wealth, and give us shitty products. As an independent thinker and closeted libertarian, I don't really mind a company monopolizing an industry (if they are that good, then they should reap the benefits), but to completely eliminate a product's unique and excellent quality just leaves a bunch of customers angry and helpless.
If it was up to me, I would eliminate the use of corporations in my everyday life. But I live in the US and that is damn near impossible. What I do is mostly shop in small businesses, avoid fast food chains, or any chain stores for that matter, and whenever necessary, report the ridiculousness to all the review websites in order to get the word out. I ask that you do the same.
Now I know I'm complaining, but I have a headache and this is pissing me off. For the few that are reading this, I hope you're not too annoyed at my obnoxious nonsense. It's just one of those days.
In the meantime, enjoy some Fiona Apple.
And it's not just the internet industry; the clothing, food, banking industry are all run by a small percentage of people that really control the bulk of the wealth, and give us shitty products. As an independent thinker and closeted libertarian, I don't really mind a company monopolizing an industry (if they are that good, then they should reap the benefits), but to completely eliminate a product's unique and excellent quality just leaves a bunch of customers angry and helpless.
If it was up to me, I would eliminate the use of corporations in my everyday life. But I live in the US and that is damn near impossible. What I do is mostly shop in small businesses, avoid fast food chains, or any chain stores for that matter, and whenever necessary, report the ridiculousness to all the review websites in order to get the word out. I ask that you do the same.
Now I know I'm complaining, but I have a headache and this is pissing me off. For the few that are reading this, I hope you're not too annoyed at my obnoxious nonsense. It's just one of those days.
In the meantime, enjoy some Fiona Apple.
Cheaters.
News broke out today like a brush fire of the girl from Twilight, Kristen Stewart, cheated on her boyfriend with some guy (you can get the details here http://perezhilton.com/category/kristen-stewart?from=starseeker_top#.UBA6V6Ab0dU ). Now I could care less about these two individuals, but I do care about the issue on cheating for many reasons.
I was cheated on about three years ago by the person I considered "the love of my life" for many reasons I can only imagine. My world at that time revolved around this person. I would have given my life to this person because in all honesty, I believed in love, in marriage, and the ability for two people to maintain this relationship through the ends of time. I know, very retarded. But I grew up with parents who are still married and on some level, love each other very much and respect each other. It may not be passionate lust-love, but love worth fighting for nonetheless. And I believed in that. I hoped with this person that one day I would have that same love that my parents share for each other. Seven fucking years I spent nurturing, manifesting, and growing this love to ensure that I would have this life my parents had too. But it all crumbled on at August day when the love of my life broke up with me. Later he admitted that he had met someone else, and that person was my scuba instructor. I will beat the shit out of her if I ever find her. But back to the story. Now I knew this girl for about 6 months and so did he. He worked with her because his job was advertising for this company through facebook. So he knew that he was drawn to her, and later he moved in with her just before I left Roatan, Honduras. Some of you might be thinking a coincidence, but fuck no, this was all planned and I was there for their amusement.
Now I am heading to law school ( I CAN'T STRESS THAT ENOUGH!) and from what I have heard the girl is working in Mexico and is with-child. My ex is currently in Roatan trying to find a white girl to move him back to the US (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!). But the point is this: cheating happens every single day and for many reasons. And it comes to show that this institutionalized belief of relationships, marriages, a "happily ever after" is all bullshit. We are shown to believe that we will find our soul mate, and that person will be perfect just for us. But that is a farce. It is an antiquated belief that still exists in the 21st century for the likes of corporations making money off love and marriage. Furthermore, we live in a world where women are equal to men, women can take care of themselves, and both sexes have access to unlimited ways of finding companions. So what's the fucking point with sticking with one person for the rest of your life, or for that matter, cheating? Staying with one person and fucking another...is that really necessary? How about telling that person you want to be with that you will also want to be with others because you like being a slut? By the way, there is nothing wrong with being a slut; it's just a lifestyle. But my point is this. I think we are now in an age where cheating is irrelevant. People should have the balls to just be by themselves and fuck whomever they want without having to worry about other people's feelings.
But stupid people won't listen. They will continue to be in relationships, marry each other, and cheat on each other because the indoctrination and continued success of the relationship industry needs stupid people to make these stupid mistakes so that they can make a few billion each year.
Don't even get me started on baby-making.
For more on these ideas, please listen to The Tom Leykis Show. He is a father to the belief of the failing marriage system and preaches his beliefs on his online show, which is hilarious, smart, and completely controversial. I absolutely love it.
His show can be found at http://www.blowmeuptom.com/
I was cheated on about three years ago by the person I considered "the love of my life" for many reasons I can only imagine. My world at that time revolved around this person. I would have given my life to this person because in all honesty, I believed in love, in marriage, and the ability for two people to maintain this relationship through the ends of time. I know, very retarded. But I grew up with parents who are still married and on some level, love each other very much and respect each other. It may not be passionate lust-love, but love worth fighting for nonetheless. And I believed in that. I hoped with this person that one day I would have that same love that my parents share for each other. Seven fucking years I spent nurturing, manifesting, and growing this love to ensure that I would have this life my parents had too. But it all crumbled on at August day when the love of my life broke up with me. Later he admitted that he had met someone else, and that person was my scuba instructor. I will beat the shit out of her if I ever find her. But back to the story. Now I knew this girl for about 6 months and so did he. He worked with her because his job was advertising for this company through facebook. So he knew that he was drawn to her, and later he moved in with her just before I left Roatan, Honduras. Some of you might be thinking a coincidence, but fuck no, this was all planned and I was there for their amusement.
Now I am heading to law school ( I CAN'T STRESS THAT ENOUGH!) and from what I have heard the girl is working in Mexico and is with-child. My ex is currently in Roatan trying to find a white girl to move him back to the US (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!). But the point is this: cheating happens every single day and for many reasons. And it comes to show that this institutionalized belief of relationships, marriages, a "happily ever after" is all bullshit. We are shown to believe that we will find our soul mate, and that person will be perfect just for us. But that is a farce. It is an antiquated belief that still exists in the 21st century for the likes of corporations making money off love and marriage. Furthermore, we live in a world where women are equal to men, women can take care of themselves, and both sexes have access to unlimited ways of finding companions. So what's the fucking point with sticking with one person for the rest of your life, or for that matter, cheating? Staying with one person and fucking another...is that really necessary? How about telling that person you want to be with that you will also want to be with others because you like being a slut? By the way, there is nothing wrong with being a slut; it's just a lifestyle. But my point is this. I think we are now in an age where cheating is irrelevant. People should have the balls to just be by themselves and fuck whomever they want without having to worry about other people's feelings.
But stupid people won't listen. They will continue to be in relationships, marry each other, and cheat on each other because the indoctrination and continued success of the relationship industry needs stupid people to make these stupid mistakes so that they can make a few billion each year.
Don't even get me started on baby-making.
For more on these ideas, please listen to The Tom Leykis Show. He is a father to the belief of the failing marriage system and preaches his beliefs on his online show, which is hilarious, smart, and completely controversial. I absolutely love it.
His show can be found at http://www.blowmeuptom.com/
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Mercy.
When I hear this song, all I can think about is the actual music. I'm not too fond of the lyrics because let's just say they are predictable to the mainstream rap that's out there. But the music is so fucking ridiculous. The combination of the harsh beats with the deeps voice, then this man comes out sounding like some foreign political refugee/tyrannical leader/zealot priest just combines into simply a genius dope song. This is Kanye West at his best. And I know he was in some way collaborating on the video because the video is even crazier.
The video has the rappers dressed like Al-Qaeda/terrorists doing their thing in some random parking lot. There are no booties, no titties, and the girl that's there is simply part of the gang or crew rapping their song to their beat. I've always loved any rapper that can make a dope ass video without the excess cars, girls, and money. This video was done with extra thought and care into it and you can see because it meshes so well with song, and in a way enhances the quality of the song to mean exactly what you thought the song was meant to be. Sure the lyrics say "Lamborghini mercy, your chick she's so thirsty, I'm in the two seat lambo with your girl..." but yet the feeling you get from the song and the message has nothing to do with these lyrics.
My fascination with Kanye West has many dimensions, and I will attempt to explain when I am inspired in another post. Not many people like him, but I think he is a genius when it comes to music. Not only does he understand every component of making a song; but he is so gifted, he understands that with his music comes an evolution in sound, style, taste, lyrics, and overall persona. This is his current evolution, and I am loving it. Fuck Kim Kardashian and her whorish fame ways. Kanye is a pioneer and a god-damned amazing producer, and he continues to learn new ways to reinvent his style and persona. He has not showcased so much rapping ability these days, but he is so on point with his music, I am aching for his next song (or album because when he is in his zone, I almost break out in hives and start masturbating for hours).
I will post the lyrics because it's fun to sing along any song, but please don't pay them too much attention. They really don't do justice to the song. But this beat/song/melody is so dope, it can withstand that stupid "ass shaking" lyrics that makes rap often times stupid and misogynistic. I love it regardless, like a big asshole.
[Bridge: "Fuzzy" Jones]
Well! It is a weeping, and a moaning, and a gnashing of teeth
It is a weeping, and a moaning, and a gnashing of teeth
When it comes to my sound which is the champion sound
Believe! Believe!
[Hook]
Lamborghini Mercy, your chick, she so thirsty
I'm in that two seat Lambo with your bitch, she tryna jerk me
[Verse 1: Big Sean]
Drop it to the floor, make that ass shake
Whoa, make the ground move, that's an ass quake
Built a house up on it, that's an ass state
Roll my blunt on it, that's an ass tray
Say Ye, say Ye, don't we do this every day-day?
I work them long nights, long nights to get a pay day
Finally got paid, now I need shade and a vacay
And niggas still hating, so much hate I need an AK
Now we out in Paris, yeah I'm Perriering
White girls politicking that's that Sarah Palin
Gettin' high, Californicating
I give her that D, cause that's where I was born and raised in
[Hook]
[Verse 2: Pusha T]
It's prime time, my top back, this pimp game, ho
I'm red leather, this coke chain, I'm Rick James, ho
I'm bill droppin', Ms. Pacman is pill popping, ho
I'm poppin' too, these blue dolphins need two coffins
All she want is some heel money, all she need is some bill money
He take his time, he counts it out, I weighs it up, that's real money
Check the neck check the wrist, them heads turnin', that's exorcist
My Audemar like Mardi Gras, that's Swiss time and that's excellence
Two door preference, roof gone George Jefferson
That white frost on that pound cake so your Duncan Heinz is irrelevant
Lambo, Mercy-lago, she go wherever I go wherever we go we do it pronto
[Hook]
[Verse 3: Kanye West]
Let the suicide doors up
I threw suicides on the tour bus
I threw suicides on the private jet
You know what that mean, I'm fly to death
I step in Def Jam building like I'm the shit
Tell 'em, "Give me fifty million or I'mma quit"
Most rappers taste level ain't at my waist level
Turn up the bass 'til it's up-in-your-face level
Don't do no press but I get the most press, kid
Plus my bitch, make your bitch look like Precious
Something about Mary, she gone off that Molly
Now the whole party is melted like Dali
Now everybody is movin' they body
Don't sell me apartment, I'll move in the lobby
Niggas is loiterin' just to feel important
You gon' see lawyers and niggas in Jordan's
[Verse 4: 2 Chainz]
Ok, now catch up to my campaign, coupe the color of mayonnaise
I'm drunk and high at the same time drinkin' champaign on the airplane
Spit rounds like the gun range, beat it up like Rampage
100 bands, cut your girl, now your girl need a bandaid
Grade A, A1, chain the color of Akon
Platinum diamonds backpack around me, co-signed by Louis Vuitton
Horse power, horse power, all this Polo on I got horse power
Pound of this cost four thousand, I make it rain, she want more showers
Rain pourin', all my cars is foreign
All my broads is foreign, money tall like Jordan
Monday, July 23, 2012
Bon Anniversaire.
At midnight pacific time I will turn 27. I have the same birthday as Jennifer Lopez, which in turn would make me a diva, but that is not the case. My ideal birthday would be working all day and going to the gym. I truly love my life and everything that I do I believe is my true passion. I cannot stress enough how inconvenient it is for me to go out to dinner to celebrate my birthday because the best way for me to celebrate is to simply do what I do every single day.
I took French classes in high school and that is how they say happy birthday. I've always liked the French. They have the reputation of being bitchy. I wish our culture had that reputation, but we're more of the hard working shit talking kind of folk that everyone wants out because we don't have our papers. But what I really think is that white people are scared. They think we're going to have too many babies in the US and we'll take over the population because of our procreation. The truth is that it is happening right now and white people need to stand up in other ways. For example, have more babies. Don't be afraid of the consequences. I am doing my part to help the white community by not having babies. But I am only one woman and I can't do it alone. Hopefully though we'll get to a point where tolerance becomes the norm and we are embraced for our abilities, creativity, and overabundance of people because let's face it: we can probably kick your ass all day.
But going back to the birthday thing. I have always been against celebrating birthdays. Again I celebrate my life everyday. I think that comes a lot from the fact that my birthday is in the summer and I never celebrated it at school like the rest of the sheep (baaa). It's just completely stupid to me. Tomorrow I will go to dinner. I will skip the gym (which I FUCKING hate) and I will have to see some folks that I personally don't want to see for my birthday. But if people really feel the need to celebrate the day my mom popped me out, then by all means have at it. Just know that in the back of mind, I am flexing my abs and running a marathon in hopes that I will burn more calories than usual. Am I retarded? Maybe, but at least I do what I love.
Bon anniversaire a toi. Bon anniversaire a toi. Bon anniversaire a Rose. Bon anniversaire a toi. Can I blow my candle?
PS: I have no idea what's going on at the moment. Enjoy.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
What's the point?
Sorry for the small delay my small viewership, but you can't write blogs with a broken computer!
So I was reading some of my blogs and cracking up at the absurdities that I write because I'm a little "out the box" and I asked myself, "What's the fucking point?"
Well, the point is to have another opinion because we just don't have enough in the world. So there you go. I've been watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding on HBO and that was one of my favorite lines, "So there you go." Definitely one of the funnier moments, but I am diverting from my point. I think I am smart. And I've met many people, most of whom think I am smart as well. I've gotten a few stupids, couple of idiots, and one time a retarded opinion of me, but my thoughts, trials and tribulations are for the masses to understand and relate to. I am a Hispanic female who's been beaten, criticized, made fun of, and been called a whore, so I can relate to 99% of women and 75% of males (made up figures). But my biggest connection to you and the world is my inability to give up. I think we all on some level will never give up because we have no choice. And this is one of my moments where I am just not giving up on this blog, since it's my only outlet to the world at the moment.
So what's the point? The point is to be heard, to contribute, to give, to provide, and to be a part of something that matters. This year I will be heading off to law school. I wish my circumstances were a little bit better given my current situation, but I cannot stress enough how much I am looking forward to this,and I will paint a picture for you...
When I was ten years old, I competed with four other students to give the commencement speech at my elementary school graduation. I won the opportunity and gave my grand gesture to the world. In that speech I proclaimed my dream to become a lawyer or actress. Before this event, when I was eight years old, I was playing with my cousins and they weren't being fair with me. I told them that one day I would become a judge and sentence them to jail for their injustice. Now I am starting my first year in law school and fulfilling my life long dream. You know when they ask what you want to be when you grow up and you say whatever the fuck you say? Well while most of you become managers at the Gap or cooks at El Torito (no offense) instead of following your dream, I have chosen to follow it. I am in love with myself. If I can find someone like me, I will fall in love, but there are few of us. So you know what? The point is to LIVE! The point is to SHARE! The point is to realize your potential and FOLLOW IT! And the point is to remember what you wanted to be when you grow up and try it; it will probably be something you'll love greatly, and therefore, work really hard for it. Very inspirational.
"People create their own questions because they are afraid to look straight. All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it -walk." - Ayn Rand
So I was reading some of my blogs and cracking up at the absurdities that I write because I'm a little "out the box" and I asked myself, "What's the fucking point?"
Well, the point is to have another opinion because we just don't have enough in the world. So there you go. I've been watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding on HBO and that was one of my favorite lines, "So there you go." Definitely one of the funnier moments, but I am diverting from my point. I think I am smart. And I've met many people, most of whom think I am smart as well. I've gotten a few stupids, couple of idiots, and one time a retarded opinion of me, but my thoughts, trials and tribulations are for the masses to understand and relate to. I am a Hispanic female who's been beaten, criticized, made fun of, and been called a whore, so I can relate to 99% of women and 75% of males (made up figures). But my biggest connection to you and the world is my inability to give up. I think we all on some level will never give up because we have no choice. And this is one of my moments where I am just not giving up on this blog, since it's my only outlet to the world at the moment.
So what's the point? The point is to be heard, to contribute, to give, to provide, and to be a part of something that matters. This year I will be heading off to law school. I wish my circumstances were a little bit better given my current situation, but I cannot stress enough how much I am looking forward to this,and I will paint a picture for you...
When I was ten years old, I competed with four other students to give the commencement speech at my elementary school graduation. I won the opportunity and gave my grand gesture to the world. In that speech I proclaimed my dream to become a lawyer or actress. Before this event, when I was eight years old, I was playing with my cousins and they weren't being fair with me. I told them that one day I would become a judge and sentence them to jail for their injustice. Now I am starting my first year in law school and fulfilling my life long dream. You know when they ask what you want to be when you grow up and you say whatever the fuck you say? Well while most of you become managers at the Gap or cooks at El Torito (no offense) instead of following your dream, I have chosen to follow it. I am in love with myself. If I can find someone like me, I will fall in love, but there are few of us. So you know what? The point is to LIVE! The point is to SHARE! The point is to realize your potential and FOLLOW IT! And the point is to remember what you wanted to be when you grow up and try it; it will probably be something you'll love greatly, and therefore, work really hard for it. Very inspirational.
"People create their own questions because they are afraid to look straight. All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it -walk." - Ayn Rand
Monday, July 9, 2012
San Pedro Sula.
If you have ever read my other blog www.thetravelcompanion.blogspot.com you will find out that I lived in Honduras for two years and three months before coming back to the States. I had my reasons for moving and I don't regret it one bit, but I do have to say that if you read what I wrote about Honduras, you might just catch a glimpse into the madness that lays in Central America. Anyone living in the Americas should at one point in their lives visit both Central and South America to get a complete understanding of their land and the culture they were born from or came to learn and love (or love to hate).
For the first year in Central America, I lived in San Pedro Sula, currently the second most dangerous city after Cape Town, South Africa, according to urbantitan.com. San Pedro Sula reminded me a lot of Los Angeles. The infrastructure was built in a similar way, and the traffic in the city was horrendous. But what most reminded me of LA were the shenanigans that took place every single day in the city. Central Park was the place where everything started and ended. Sometimes I would see concerts in the streets, followed by riots and arrests. Other times I would see marches taking place, followed by riots and arrests. And my favorite were the soccer games where I would see the national team either win or lose, followed by riots and arrests. I remember one specific even where my ex-fiancee and I went to a soccer match to watch the national team play against Mexico (my fave). At one point, people started throwing beer at our section because we wouldn't sit down. My ex made some hoodlum friends and decided to run up the stadium and beat the shit out of the people that were throwing beer. He didn't get too far before the cops came and took him along with two others away in handcuffs. I was completely freaking out and wanted to go look for him, so I took my white girl friend and looked for the idiot. In the midst of all of this, I ran into some policemen and told me that chances are he either got out of the stadium or had gotten his ass kicked and got out of the stadium. I freaked out even more and called his cell. Before you know it, he was back in the field, in our seats, waiting for me to come back. While walking back, I got my ass pinched and wanted to scream.
The best part was the story he told me. The boys that had gotten kicked out with him were given two choices: get kicked out or get your ass whooped and go back to your seat. They chose the latter; my ex chose the former. He then bought another ticket outside for $2.50 and came back with a different shirt. Good times.
He got arrested a total two times, but was never charged. I am glad he is no longer my fiancee.
San Pedro Sula has its faults, but its beauty lies in the chaos that keeps this city hanging on by a thread. There are many things wrong with this city: crime, corruption, extreme poverty, no middle class, and a population of children running it. I still think it's beautiful and would live there again, if given the chance. The only difference would be that I would have lots of money and a fiancee that didn't beat me. Maybe I would feel just a tad bit safer. But surviving and thriving in the city, for me, is just another indicator of the bad-assery I have in my soul and the strength I carry wherever I go.
On a side note, I was never arrested, assaulted, or bothered by any many, woman, or child while living in San Pedro Sula. The closest I came to a crime was watching a hold up on a Thursday afternoon after work. It wasn't so bad and the lady still got home. We can all manage.
To check out the source: http://urbantitan.com/the-10-most-dangerous-cities-in-2012/
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Savages.
I saw the movie "Savages" last night. I must admit I wanted to go see "Ted" instead, but my sister and cousin dragged me to the movie theater to watch this new one with Blake Lively and Salma Hayek.
Let me give you a synopsis of the movie just so you can understand my frustrations and overall negative attitude of this movie....
It was a summer's day in the middle of some beach. Blake Lively narrates the story giving us a glimpse into the future and her ambiguous message of life and death. She states at one point, "Just because I am talking write now does not mean I may be alive. Maybe I pre-recorded this conversation..." Right then I knew the audacious, far-fetched script would be a comical one at best. The main character, Ophelia is involved with two willing gentlemen in a triangle relationship. She fucks one and makes love to the other, as she puts it. The two gentlemen, Ben and Chon, are one of the most successful pot growers in California (and the world) looking to get out of the drug-dealing business game. They are approached by the destructible and malicious Mexican cartel whose leader, Salma Hayek, kidnaps Ophelia and take her hostage to force the two gentlemen to go to business with her. Their response is to kidnap the woman's daughter and trade Ophelia in exchange. Towards the end there are two separate endings, the correct one being that the DEA gets involved, they arrest the drug cartel leader, and the three love birds head out to South East Asia to live the rest of their lives in seclusion.
I talk about it mostly because of the two women in the lead roles. Both women were a symbol for a new wave of women in the forefront of change in the world. On one hand, you have the leader of a Mexican drug cartel being a woman whose husband and sons were killed in the drug wars. She took command and in most instances showed no mercy when confronted with opposition. The second women had a relationship with two hot men that were more than willing to be involved with this one girl and even live together. Now I have no problem with such a fantastical plot of a movie nor the level of control the women show in the movie. I mean it's Hollywood. But the execution of this film was so incredibly ridiculous, I couldn't take one bit of that story seriously. At one point Salma Hayel takes her wig off leading laughter in the audience. Her daughter had just been kidnapped. The acting from the two ladies was a fake best and completely incredulous. The two girls at onepoint live together as if roomates, but one is kidnapped and the other the kidnapper. It just seemed that all of the elements of this movie were absolutely fake from beginning to end. This caused for their leadership roles in the film to be comical, irrelevant and unbelievable.
This is my personal opinion and you could take it or leave it. I just have to remind you of the cost of movie tickets and maybe watching a teddy bear smoking out of a bong might just be more laughter appropriate than watching a woman breakdown and take off a wig.
PS: Salma looks cross-eyed in the first picture.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Happy birthday America.
My fourth of July was pretty awesome. I went to a friend's house to watch a fireworks show because what's more American than fireworks on your country's birthday. But fireworks are more than just pretty lights exploding in the sky. They're a symbol. A symbol for the beginning of a dominant nation kicking the British's arses during the American Revolution. A symbol for the bad-ass contract these forefathers wrote to declare our independence. Because of these gentlemen, I live in a world where I can declare that I am an atheist that smoke pot and will never marry. Now if this is true or not is completely irrelevant, but the fact that I can make that statement is completely connected to the fireworks I saw today.
In my neighborhood I still here and see the fireworks. I love America. I love being a fucking social liberal and fiscal conservative. I love my president, my army, my Congress, and my Supreme Court. I love my constitution. And I love my unalienable rights that I was born with because I was born in this country. I normally go against the wind, but today I am proud to be an American.
I even ate Krispy Kreme today, which I never do, in honor of America. As a Mexican-American, I can be bitter about the land that was taken from our country, but I can't hate because I was born here and regardless of these white people, this is my country, this is my land, and this is my freedom.
Happy fourth of July. Happy birthday again America. I'll make sure to light up a big one just for you on your special day.
"This is America."
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
You are mean.
I've always been characterized as mean. I don't know why. But I do. I have a short temper. I am smart. I am honest. Because of these three personality traits, I am mean. And it goes without saying that I most certainly embrace it.
I have no compassion for feelings. I think this comes from my experiences growing up as an ugly girl before becoming decent to look at. Being an ugly kid had its advantages. I got to learn the truth behind the way people treat you based on looks. Going from invisible to desirable had a negative effect on my perception of society. It was very difficult to trust anyone because I was never really sure what their intentions were. And I still feel this way today. But because I realized early that people may have many different motives for their actions, feelings became irrelevant. Especially in high school. One particular person taught me a very valuable lesson. I was the object of this person's desires. For 6 months he treated me like the only girl in the world. He devoted all of his time to getting me to like him. And it worked. I was completely infatuated by this person to the point where I was concentrated mostly on him and less on my school work. But in the end, it didn't work out. It actually went so badly that I left school for my last semester because of all the rumors that went on about me. Now I could care less about this mess, but I am making a point about who I am. I built a very thick shell after this. This person not only got what he wanted, but his feelings for me were completely irrelevant when it came down to destroying my reputation. I understood then that people didn't care about my feelings, so why should I?
I'm not going to say that this moment made me become mean. That is not the case. I was mean before, and I will continue to be mean afterwards. But what happened in that time was a revelation unlike anything I could imagine. I was confronted with a reality that meant the winners are the mean-spirited, driven, egotistical, selfish bastards that are willing to bring down those who trust them in order to get ahead. And I knew that no matter what my beliefs are, I had to take feelings out of the equation. Feelings are feelings, they are not tangible or relevant.
Even today looking back at seven years of my life I wasted, I can say that my feelings for life are the same. I have a purpose bigger than what anyone can imagine, and I will do everything in my power to attain. I guess I was just built that way.
But the reason I talk about being mean is because I have been brutally and unjustifiably mean to a number of people that love me. It got me thinking about why people are mean and why they choose to say the things they do. This five year old little boy is being nice to me and simply asking me questions about life. All I want to do is tell him to shut up and watch tv. Is it mean? Do I even care? I have yet to figure this out. But what I do know is my short temper, my intelligence, and my honesty. I won't give them up for anything (except the short temper). I hope this makes sense.
"Donate to the children's fund? Why? What have the children ever done for me?" - Mr. Krab
I have no compassion for feelings. I think this comes from my experiences growing up as an ugly girl before becoming decent to look at. Being an ugly kid had its advantages. I got to learn the truth behind the way people treat you based on looks. Going from invisible to desirable had a negative effect on my perception of society. It was very difficult to trust anyone because I was never really sure what their intentions were. And I still feel this way today. But because I realized early that people may have many different motives for their actions, feelings became irrelevant. Especially in high school. One particular person taught me a very valuable lesson. I was the object of this person's desires. For 6 months he treated me like the only girl in the world. He devoted all of his time to getting me to like him. And it worked. I was completely infatuated by this person to the point where I was concentrated mostly on him and less on my school work. But in the end, it didn't work out. It actually went so badly that I left school for my last semester because of all the rumors that went on about me. Now I could care less about this mess, but I am making a point about who I am. I built a very thick shell after this. This person not only got what he wanted, but his feelings for me were completely irrelevant when it came down to destroying my reputation. I understood then that people didn't care about my feelings, so why should I?
I'm not going to say that this moment made me become mean. That is not the case. I was mean before, and I will continue to be mean afterwards. But what happened in that time was a revelation unlike anything I could imagine. I was confronted with a reality that meant the winners are the mean-spirited, driven, egotistical, selfish bastards that are willing to bring down those who trust them in order to get ahead. And I knew that no matter what my beliefs are, I had to take feelings out of the equation. Feelings are feelings, they are not tangible or relevant.
Even today looking back at seven years of my life I wasted, I can say that my feelings for life are the same. I have a purpose bigger than what anyone can imagine, and I will do everything in my power to attain. I guess I was just built that way.
But the reason I talk about being mean is because I have been brutally and unjustifiably mean to a number of people that love me. It got me thinking about why people are mean and why they choose to say the things they do. This five year old little boy is being nice to me and simply asking me questions about life. All I want to do is tell him to shut up and watch tv. Is it mean? Do I even care? I have yet to figure this out. But what I do know is my short temper, my intelligence, and my honesty. I won't give them up for anything (except the short temper). I hope this makes sense.
"Donate to the children's fund? Why? What have the children ever done for me?" - Mr. Krab
Monday, July 2, 2012
Acceptance and Rejection.
It's been a while. I know and I am not sorry. The truth is I haven't been inspired to write and I have been busy.
So I wanted to write about acceptance and rejection. My goal is to go to law school. I worked for a year to take my LSATs and apply to all of the schools in California. I was rejected by 95% of the school I applied to; I got accepted to one school and I am waiting for one more school to make my final decision. Now that the time has come to make my choice, I have looked back at my accomplishments so far and my willingness to risk everything for a dream. I have been a big risk taker. I feel like I strive more so to be rejected than to be accepted. I know it's crazy to say that, but it's the fucking truth.
So what to do now. Well, I will focus on school. I have rejected the idea of finding a man to leach off of in order to fulfill my fantasies. And I have big fantasies. So big that I can't fail. Rejection to me is simply a challenge to prove someone/something wrong. And I refuse to settle for the absolute bottom. I refuse to settle for anything except excellence (complete and total acceptance). I may take the unbeaten path, but I will find the way to the life I believe I deserve.
I have this poster board in my room that dictates some of things I believe in. I look at it every morning when I wake up and I know what my expectations are as a person, as a human, as a great woman. Some of the slogans, "Never hide," or "Regrets Nothing," only fuels my ambition to be great and make a lot of money. And money is very important. It is the value that we humans use to determine the level of success a person reaches. Rupert Murdoch may be a crazy fuck, but he's able to control the US media because of the amount of money he is able to bring and what he can do with it. That's the power, ambition and selfishness I am talking about. We reject his beliefs, but accept his product because of his power. What am I talking about?
So what's next? Law school. Then, the world. Take a look at me everybody; I have been accepted and will not accept rejection under any circumstances.
So I wanted to write about acceptance and rejection. My goal is to go to law school. I worked for a year to take my LSATs and apply to all of the schools in California. I was rejected by 95% of the school I applied to; I got accepted to one school and I am waiting for one more school to make my final decision. Now that the time has come to make my choice, I have looked back at my accomplishments so far and my willingness to risk everything for a dream. I have been a big risk taker. I feel like I strive more so to be rejected than to be accepted. I know it's crazy to say that, but it's the fucking truth.
So what to do now. Well, I will focus on school. I have rejected the idea of finding a man to leach off of in order to fulfill my fantasies. And I have big fantasies. So big that I can't fail. Rejection to me is simply a challenge to prove someone/something wrong. And I refuse to settle for the absolute bottom. I refuse to settle for anything except excellence (complete and total acceptance). I may take the unbeaten path, but I will find the way to the life I believe I deserve.
I have this poster board in my room that dictates some of things I believe in. I look at it every morning when I wake up and I know what my expectations are as a person, as a human, as a great woman. Some of the slogans, "Never hide," or "Regrets Nothing," only fuels my ambition to be great and make a lot of money. And money is very important. It is the value that we humans use to determine the level of success a person reaches. Rupert Murdoch may be a crazy fuck, but he's able to control the US media because of the amount of money he is able to bring and what he can do with it. That's the power, ambition and selfishness I am talking about. We reject his beliefs, but accept his product because of his power. What am I talking about?
So what's next? Law school. Then, the world. Take a look at me everybody; I have been accepted and will not accept rejection under any circumstances.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Self Esteem.
Listening to a few folks talk about self-esteem today, I was completely blown away by the different rhetoric. And to this instant, I am dissecting this talk in hopes of understanding a little more about my life.
In the morning today I was in a meeting with 10 year-old kids to discuss their current behavior at the place I work at. They were disrespectful to an extreme degree. The conversation was very intriguing while listening. I personally had my moment to discuss their behavior to them, which case I was honest to an extreme degree. My personal run-ins with these kids was never positive, and always confrontational, so I took it upon myself to say my opinions, frustrations, and overall feelings. I wanted them to know how awful they are, and I think they got the hint.
Following my talk of behavior, I went to an office to where an adult was in my vicinity. Now I won't mention names because I refuse to get in trouble over this blog, but I will surely continue with some details. We discussed feelings of kids and their reasons for creating an action based on their past history and knowledge (I was talking about the meeting). This talk led to a discussion on weight loss. Let me explain...I go to the gym maybe 4-5 times a week, I ran a marathon, and I have been fit for over a year. The adult in question goes to the gym maybe 2-3 times a week, two weeks out of the month; walked the marathon; has eating issues, and has been working out for about at most 6 weeks. Well, this person made a comment about family issues and her inability to control food intake. She continued to discuss all of her problems with losing weight. I felt the need to boost her self-esteem by lowering mine. I told her my "woes" with weight loss, even sharing my weight and my goal weight. But the truth is I felt sorry for her. People have such unrealistic opinions about themselves and their actions, which this was the case. They see losing weight as a quick process; they don't exercise frequently enough; they have horrible eating habits and would like the easiest solution. And they expect immediate results. You will never get immediate results. And being fit is a fucking lifestyle that you choose. By the way, I am more than content with my weight and figure...but I work hard for it, and fat girls try to make me feel ashamed of it.
Listening to Tom Leykis in the afternoon, he was talking about "fatkini," pictures of fat chicks with two piece bathing suits. It was absolutely disgusting looking at this website. And they discussed how their self-esteem is high, even though their appearance is nothing to gloat about. My personal opinion is that fat people are gross. Obese people are really gross. The opinion of the show was that you are responsible for boosting your self-esteem, and no one else. Furthermore, you deserve exactly what you are; if you have low self-esteem, it's your own fault. If you're fat, it's your own fucking fault. If you act like a fucking loser now, it's your fault, and you will continue to be a loser until you decide to change. And lastly, there is nothing glorious about boasting how fat you are. If you are fat and obese, you are sick, you have many toxins in your body, and you are destroying yourself and the generations to come.
Now I added a little of my own take on the situation, but I would have to say one more thing. While these three events happen to me today, I was driving home and thinking about self-esteem. I felt stupid for thinking that I could ever change people. No one will change unless they change themselves. And self-esteem won't change unless the person chooses to change. The excuses and bullshit I hear are just ridiculous. To all the fatties, losers, and overall low self-esteem individuals: make the choice that makes the most sense and will give you the best benefit. It may be hard at first, but fucking change already. As of right now what are you? Will you be the same thing tomorrow, next week, next year? Change now. For everyone that has a fucking complaint or excuse: change. Make the decision. I can't stress how simple it is, but I hear all this complaining, and I say fucking change it then.
I don't think you get what I am saying, but I hope that you at the very least read the word change over and over again until you consider it. In the mean time, continue to eat Mc Donalds, shit on people's day, and complain a little bit more, maybe God will listen finally and grant you a miracle.
CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE
In the morning today I was in a meeting with 10 year-old kids to discuss their current behavior at the place I work at. They were disrespectful to an extreme degree. The conversation was very intriguing while listening. I personally had my moment to discuss their behavior to them, which case I was honest to an extreme degree. My personal run-ins with these kids was never positive, and always confrontational, so I took it upon myself to say my opinions, frustrations, and overall feelings. I wanted them to know how awful they are, and I think they got the hint.
Following my talk of behavior, I went to an office to where an adult was in my vicinity. Now I won't mention names because I refuse to get in trouble over this blog, but I will surely continue with some details. We discussed feelings of kids and their reasons for creating an action based on their past history and knowledge (I was talking about the meeting). This talk led to a discussion on weight loss. Let me explain...I go to the gym maybe 4-5 times a week, I ran a marathon, and I have been fit for over a year. The adult in question goes to the gym maybe 2-3 times a week, two weeks out of the month; walked the marathon; has eating issues, and has been working out for about at most 6 weeks. Well, this person made a comment about family issues and her inability to control food intake. She continued to discuss all of her problems with losing weight. I felt the need to boost her self-esteem by lowering mine. I told her my "woes" with weight loss, even sharing my weight and my goal weight. But the truth is I felt sorry for her. People have such unrealistic opinions about themselves and their actions, which this was the case. They see losing weight as a quick process; they don't exercise frequently enough; they have horrible eating habits and would like the easiest solution. And they expect immediate results. You will never get immediate results. And being fit is a fucking lifestyle that you choose. By the way, I am more than content with my weight and figure...but I work hard for it, and fat girls try to make me feel ashamed of it.
Listening to Tom Leykis in the afternoon, he was talking about "fatkini," pictures of fat chicks with two piece bathing suits. It was absolutely disgusting looking at this website. And they discussed how their self-esteem is high, even though their appearance is nothing to gloat about. My personal opinion is that fat people are gross. Obese people are really gross. The opinion of the show was that you are responsible for boosting your self-esteem, and no one else. Furthermore, you deserve exactly what you are; if you have low self-esteem, it's your own fault. If you're fat, it's your own fucking fault. If you act like a fucking loser now, it's your fault, and you will continue to be a loser until you decide to change. And lastly, there is nothing glorious about boasting how fat you are. If you are fat and obese, you are sick, you have many toxins in your body, and you are destroying yourself and the generations to come.
Now I added a little of my own take on the situation, but I would have to say one more thing. While these three events happen to me today, I was driving home and thinking about self-esteem. I felt stupid for thinking that I could ever change people. No one will change unless they change themselves. And self-esteem won't change unless the person chooses to change. The excuses and bullshit I hear are just ridiculous. To all the fatties, losers, and overall low self-esteem individuals: make the choice that makes the most sense and will give you the best benefit. It may be hard at first, but fucking change already. As of right now what are you? Will you be the same thing tomorrow, next week, next year? Change now. For everyone that has a fucking complaint or excuse: change. Make the decision. I can't stress how simple it is, but I hear all this complaining, and I say fucking change it then.
I don't think you get what I am saying, but I hope that you at the very least read the word change over and over again until you consider it. In the mean time, continue to eat Mc Donalds, shit on people's day, and complain a little bit more, maybe God will listen finally and grant you a miracle.
CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE
CHANGE.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
No Church in the Wild.
What's a god to a non-believer?
The marvelous world of Kanye West is in full swing. I hate to be such a hater and no offense to Jay-Z, but this video screams of West's creativity.
Ever since the collapse of the world economy, there have been many ways in which the general population has reacted. In the US, we attempted to form a loosely based protest on Wall Street, but have fallen short of any real change because of our pot-smoking, hippie protesters that refuse to look at our rights for what they're worth, and refuse to take responsibility for a potential cause for change. In Europe, however, there has been a shift in the mindset of the working class; I would even go far as saying that the paradigm has returned back to the old times where people aren't afraid to rebel against the government. Specifically speaking in Greece, massive violent protests have sent the country on a political shit storm that may just have severe consequences in the future (they have elected both communists and neo-nazis to their government in hopes of finding a more balance field). Every country has the right to govern themselves and if they see this as their solution, well so be it. But if we recall, the chancellor of Germany in the 1930's was also elected after some dire circumstances that eventually led to World War II. Can we say deja-vu? Who knows, but in the mean time, we can only sit back and watch in hopes that if a third world war occurs, we have enough supplies and shelter to withstand the nuclear holocaust.
My point is this...The song is reminiscent of the past (because I like history) and of a present where we are starting to realize (hopefully) just to what extent we have been duped by the world government. And what I mean by the world government is that group of leaders that have single handedly given the corporations access to all of our rights in an attempt to sell it to the highest bidder. We have lost our ways, but in the end what is truly a god to a non-believer? What will happen when we all decide that the government no longer gives a fuck about us? And what will we do about it? The power comes in numbers; we may lack brute force, but what we lack we make up in the bodies that can think, choose, fight, and change the world. And this piece of art is a prime example as to just how lethal a mob of angry citizens can affect change in the government. It may not be the best idea, but tell that to the Greeks, Egyptians, Syrians, and Lebanese fighting for their basic freedoms and rights.
I know I mumble a lot, but what the song means to me is more than just a simple chaotic state. It is a crisis. And "true crisis is essential for any artistic breakthrough in that it realizes old forms are ill-adapted for a new, changing reality." Yeah, or something like that. But just to clarify: I am not an anarchist. I am agnostic, I am an independent, and I believe that drastic changes needed to be made in the people running our world because if we don't, we all just may crumble in our own facade of bullshit.
Enjoy!
"No Church In The Wild"
(with Jay-Z)
(feat. Frank Ocean)
The marvelous world of Kanye West is in full swing. I hate to be such a hater and no offense to Jay-Z, but this video screams of West's creativity.
Ever since the collapse of the world economy, there have been many ways in which the general population has reacted. In the US, we attempted to form a loosely based protest on Wall Street, but have fallen short of any real change because of our pot-smoking, hippie protesters that refuse to look at our rights for what they're worth, and refuse to take responsibility for a potential cause for change. In Europe, however, there has been a shift in the mindset of the working class; I would even go far as saying that the paradigm has returned back to the old times where people aren't afraid to rebel against the government. Specifically speaking in Greece, massive violent protests have sent the country on a political shit storm that may just have severe consequences in the future (they have elected both communists and neo-nazis to their government in hopes of finding a more balance field). Every country has the right to govern themselves and if they see this as their solution, well so be it. But if we recall, the chancellor of Germany in the 1930's was also elected after some dire circumstances that eventually led to World War II. Can we say deja-vu? Who knows, but in the mean time, we can only sit back and watch in hopes that if a third world war occurs, we have enough supplies and shelter to withstand the nuclear holocaust.
My point is this...The song is reminiscent of the past (because I like history) and of a present where we are starting to realize (hopefully) just to what extent we have been duped by the world government. And what I mean by the world government is that group of leaders that have single handedly given the corporations access to all of our rights in an attempt to sell it to the highest bidder. We have lost our ways, but in the end what is truly a god to a non-believer? What will happen when we all decide that the government no longer gives a fuck about us? And what will we do about it? The power comes in numbers; we may lack brute force, but what we lack we make up in the bodies that can think, choose, fight, and change the world. And this piece of art is a prime example as to just how lethal a mob of angry citizens can affect change in the government. It may not be the best idea, but tell that to the Greeks, Egyptians, Syrians, and Lebanese fighting for their basic freedoms and rights.
I know I mumble a lot, but what the song means to me is more than just a simple chaotic state. It is a crisis. And "true crisis is essential for any artistic breakthrough in that it realizes old forms are ill-adapted for a new, changing reality." Yeah, or something like that. But just to clarify: I am not an anarchist. I am agnostic, I am an independent, and I believe that drastic changes needed to be made in the people running our world because if we don't, we all just may crumble in our own facade of bullshit.
Enjoy!
"No Church In The Wild"
(with Jay-Z)
(feat. Frank Ocean)
[Frank Ocean]
Human beings in a mob
What’s a mob to a king?
What’s a king to a god?
What’s a god to a non-believer?
Who don’t believe in anything?
We make it out alive
All right, all right
No church in the wild
[Jay-Z]
Tears on the mausoleum floor
Blood stains the coliseum doors
Lies on the lips of a priest
Thanksgiving disguised as a feast
Rollin’ in the Rolls-Royce Corniche
Only the doctors got this, I’m hidin’ from police
Cocaine seats
All white like I got the whole thing bleached
Drug dealer chic
I’m wonderin’ if a thug’s prayers reach
Is Pious pious cause God loves pious?
Socrates asks, “Whose bias do y’all seek?”
All for Plato, screech
I’m out here ballin’, I know y’all hear my sneaks
Jesus was a carpenter, Yeezy, laid beats
Hova flow the Holy Ghost, get the hell up out your seats
Preach
[Frank Ocean]
Human beings in a mob
What’s a mob to a king?
What’s a king to a god?
What’s a god to a non-believer?
Who don’t believe in anything?
We make it out alive
All right, all right
No church in the wild
[The-Dream]
I live by you, desire
I stand by you, walk through the fire
Your love is my scripture
Let me into your encryption
[Kanye West:]
Coke on her black skin made a stripe like a zebra
I call that jungle fever
You will not control the threesome
Just roll the weed up until I get me some
We formed a new religion
No sins as long as there’s permission’
And deception is the only felony
So never fuck nobody wit’out tellin’ me
Sunglasses and Advil
Last night was mad real
Sun comin’ up, 5 a.m.
I wonder if they got cabs still
Thinkin’ ’bout the girl in all-leopard
Who was rubbin’ the wood like Kiki Shepard
Two tattoos, one read “No Apologies”
The other said “Love is cursed by monogamy”
That’s somethin’ that the pastor don’t preach
That’s somethin’ that a teacher can’t teach
When we die, the money we can’t keep
But we probably spend it all ’cause the pain ain’t cheap
Preach
[Frank Ocean:]
Human beings in a mob
What’s a mob to a king?
What’s a king to a god?
What’s a god to a non-believer?
Who don’t believe in anything?
Will he make it out alive
All right, all right
No church in the wild
No church in the wild
No church in the wild
No church in the wild
Human beings in a mob
What’s a mob to a king?
What’s a king to a god?
What’s a god to a non-believer?
Who don’t believe in anything?
We make it out alive
All right, all right
No church in the wild
[Jay-Z]
Tears on the mausoleum floor
Blood stains the coliseum doors
Lies on the lips of a priest
Thanksgiving disguised as a feast
Rollin’ in the Rolls-Royce Corniche
Only the doctors got this, I’m hidin’ from police
Cocaine seats
All white like I got the whole thing bleached
Drug dealer chic
I’m wonderin’ if a thug’s prayers reach
Is Pious pious cause God loves pious?
Socrates asks, “Whose bias do y’all seek?”
All for Plato, screech
I’m out here ballin’, I know y’all hear my sneaks
Jesus was a carpenter, Yeezy, laid beats
Hova flow the Holy Ghost, get the hell up out your seats
Preach
[Frank Ocean]
Human beings in a mob
What’s a mob to a king?
What’s a king to a god?
What’s a god to a non-believer?
Who don’t believe in anything?
We make it out alive
All right, all right
No church in the wild
[The-Dream]
I live by you, desire
I stand by you, walk through the fire
Your love is my scripture
Let me into your encryption
[Kanye West:]
Coke on her black skin made a stripe like a zebra
I call that jungle fever
You will not control the threesome
Just roll the weed up until I get me some
We formed a new religion
No sins as long as there’s permission’
And deception is the only felony
So never fuck nobody wit’out tellin’ me
Sunglasses and Advil
Last night was mad real
Sun comin’ up, 5 a.m.
I wonder if they got cabs still
Thinkin’ ’bout the girl in all-leopard
Who was rubbin’ the wood like Kiki Shepard
Two tattoos, one read “No Apologies”
The other said “Love is cursed by monogamy”
That’s somethin’ that the pastor don’t preach
That’s somethin’ that a teacher can’t teach
When we die, the money we can’t keep
But we probably spend it all ’cause the pain ain’t cheap
Preach
[Frank Ocean:]
Human beings in a mob
What’s a mob to a king?
What’s a king to a god?
What’s a god to a non-believer?
Who don’t believe in anything?
Will he make it out alive
All right, all right
No church in the wild
No church in the wild
No church in the wild
No church in the wild
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Soccer.
I am one of the rudest people I know. I curse. I talk shit. And I am competitive. That's why I have never been good at playing group sports with other people. But somehow I got convinced that I would be a great addition to my employer's soccer tournament next week. I don't think that's a good idea considering the organization I work for. The reason that I joined was to hang out with a new crowd, but I soon come to realize that my mouth is not welcomed, and I can understand why.
Let me give you a synopsis: I am being told something by someone and my response is, "Why don't you just shut the fuck up!" Yes, that's little 5'7" Rose in all her glory talking shit. I hate being competitive because I take everything way too personal. I try to warn people of my competitive nature, yet somehow they think that I will be an asset to their team. Guess what; I'm not. I will not think about you when I play; I only think of me. So please do yourself the favor and avoid me when it comes to any sporting event that I compete in because I am dirty. And the worst part is that I am not even good. I run a lot and I am fit, but that's as far as I go. I can barely dribble the ball, and I am scared of using my head. I am not a great player. But I'm still fucking hot (thank the Greek gods) and I look real good in short shorts.
But in the end, what it comes down to it. I feel shameful afterwards because I can't control myself. I should just smoke sum and hope for the best. Did I mention there are kids involved?
I should just quit. But I won't. I am too competitive to quit.
Let me give you a synopsis: I am being told something by someone and my response is, "Why don't you just shut the fuck up!" Yes, that's little 5'7" Rose in all her glory talking shit. I hate being competitive because I take everything way too personal. I try to warn people of my competitive nature, yet somehow they think that I will be an asset to their team. Guess what; I'm not. I will not think about you when I play; I only think of me. So please do yourself the favor and avoid me when it comes to any sporting event that I compete in because I am dirty. And the worst part is that I am not even good. I run a lot and I am fit, but that's as far as I go. I can barely dribble the ball, and I am scared of using my head. I am not a great player. But I'm still fucking hot (thank the Greek gods) and I look real good in short shorts.
But in the end, what it comes down to it. I feel shameful afterwards because I can't control myself. I should just smoke sum and hope for the best. Did I mention there are kids involved?
I should just quit. But I won't. I am too competitive to quit.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
The Colorado River.
I couldn't think of anything to write. I went to Laughlin the other day and got on a boat to ride along the Colorado River. It was quite a beautiful experience and I would like to share the things I remembered. I remember....
The time I was heading towards the boat. I was with a group of individuals and we were headed to the store to buy last minute items. There was a married couple, which were the hosts of the boat ride; another married couple, the parents of the girl who's married, and four other people. While we were on our way, the married couple were in the heat of discussion over the amount of items bought at the store. The wife was upset because she thought he had bought too much food and materials. But the truth was that she did not want to go to the store, so she sent him without a grocery list; thus, giving her no reason to be upset. But here they were arguing over the phone and making us all feel uncomfortable. What I don't get about married couples is their inability to understand that they're bickering makes us all feel uncomfortable. I cannot stand when people argue and I would like to kick them in the mouths in hope that they will just shut up. But what I see is the slow cancer that is taking over their love because marriage does that to you. I know, I switched it, but I don't feel sorry for them or their bullshit.
While on the boat, I was mostly focused on the excitement of the boat. The wind hit my hair so fluidly, and my nose was so dry; I loved it. The scenery went from pleasant, to natural, to hot, but all very comfortable. At one point in the middle of our ride, we stopped to get a splash of the water. Imagine jumping in a tub full of ice water. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?! You swim to the nearest ladder to get the fuck out! But man did it feel sooooo good! We did this twice before we went to our destination: Lake Havasu.
While getting to Lake Havasu, I was told by the married girl of the horror stories that happened at Lake Havasu. One story was that a mom went with her children and decided to hang out by the lake where the jet skis were driving by. The mom was hanging out in the water; a man fell off the jet ski, the jet ski kept going, and the woman was sliced. She bled to death. Another time, a little girls was playing and got lost. My cousin's friend decided to go to the lake and hang out; he stepped on something on the lake floor, and wondered, "What's this?" It was the little girl. And there are many woman walking around with pasties and thongs. I think I'm making the trip this year for sure.
The rocks in the middle of our journey were gorgeous. All I kept think was I wish I rock climbed because I would so rock climb these rocks. But I can't and I won't risk it. Before that I saw two people having sex in their boat. Very sexy.
So would I return? Definitely. Life is fucking crazy and if I was more insane, I would tell you the whole story. But right now I'm getting ready to workout. Because I like being fit and skinny. And I'm never getting married, so I have to maintain.
The time I was heading towards the boat. I was with a group of individuals and we were headed to the store to buy last minute items. There was a married couple, which were the hosts of the boat ride; another married couple, the parents of the girl who's married, and four other people. While we were on our way, the married couple were in the heat of discussion over the amount of items bought at the store. The wife was upset because she thought he had bought too much food and materials. But the truth was that she did not want to go to the store, so she sent him without a grocery list; thus, giving her no reason to be upset. But here they were arguing over the phone and making us all feel uncomfortable. What I don't get about married couples is their inability to understand that they're bickering makes us all feel uncomfortable. I cannot stand when people argue and I would like to kick them in the mouths in hope that they will just shut up. But what I see is the slow cancer that is taking over their love because marriage does that to you. I know, I switched it, but I don't feel sorry for them or their bullshit.
While on the boat, I was mostly focused on the excitement of the boat. The wind hit my hair so fluidly, and my nose was so dry; I loved it. The scenery went from pleasant, to natural, to hot, but all very comfortable. At one point in the middle of our ride, we stopped to get a splash of the water. Imagine jumping in a tub full of ice water. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?! You swim to the nearest ladder to get the fuck out! But man did it feel sooooo good! We did this twice before we went to our destination: Lake Havasu.
While getting to Lake Havasu, I was told by the married girl of the horror stories that happened at Lake Havasu. One story was that a mom went with her children and decided to hang out by the lake where the jet skis were driving by. The mom was hanging out in the water; a man fell off the jet ski, the jet ski kept going, and the woman was sliced. She bled to death. Another time, a little girls was playing and got lost. My cousin's friend decided to go to the lake and hang out; he stepped on something on the lake floor, and wondered, "What's this?" It was the little girl. And there are many woman walking around with pasties and thongs. I think I'm making the trip this year for sure.
The rocks in the middle of our journey were gorgeous. All I kept think was I wish I rock climbed because I would so rock climb these rocks. But I can't and I won't risk it. Before that I saw two people having sex in their boat. Very sexy.
So would I return? Definitely. Life is fucking crazy and if I was more insane, I would tell you the whole story. But right now I'm getting ready to workout. Because I like being fit and skinny. And I'm never getting married, so I have to maintain.
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