Lost in the World - Kanye West.

I'm not particularly fond of this video.  I can already see the negative influence Kin Kardashian will have on his music; I just hope he takes the advice he preaches and moves forward once he's tired of the bullshit. 

What I love about this song is the realness that his lyrics convey in the world that we live in.  Let me share and discuss...

I'm up in the woods, I'm down on my mind
I'm building a sill to slow down the time
I'm up in the woods, I'm down on my mind
I'm building a sill to slow down the time
'm up in the woods, I'm down on my mind
I'm building a sill to slow down the time

[Chorus: x2]
I'm lost in the World, I'm down on my mind
I'm new in the city, and I'm down for the night
Down for the night
Said she's down for the night

[Kanye West:]
Your my Devil, Your my Angel
Your my Heaven, Your my Hell
Your my Now, Your my Forever
Your my Freedom, Your my Jail
Your my Lies, Your my Truth
Your my War, Your my Truce
Your my Questions, Your my Proof
Your my Stress and your my Masseuse
Mama-say mama-say ma-ma-coo-sah
Lost in this Plastic life,
Let's Break out of this fake ass Party
Turn this in to a Classic Night
If we die in each others arms we still get laid in our Afterlife
If we die in each others arms we still get laid

[Chorus: x2]
I'm lost in the World, I'm down on my mind
I'm new in the city, and I'm down for the night
Down for the night
Said she's down for the night

Who will survive in America
Who will survive in America
Who will survive in America

[Chorus: x2]
I'm lost in the World, I'm down on my mind
I'm new in the city, and I'm down for the night
Down for the night
Said she's down for the night

[Gil-Scott Heron:]
Us living as we do upside down.
And the new word to have is revolution.
People don't even want to hear the preacher spill or spiel because God's whole card has been thoroughly piqued.
And America is now blood and tears instead of milk and honey.
The youngsters who were programmed to continue fucking up woke up one night digging Paul Revere and Nat Turner as the good guys.
America stripped for bed and we had not all yet closed our eyes.
The signs of Truth were tattooed across our open ended vagina.
We learned to our amazement untold tale of scandal.
Two long centuries buried in the musty vault, hosed down daily with a gagging perfume.
America was a bastard the illegitimate daughter of the mother country whose legs were then spread around the world and a rapist known as freedom, free doom.
Democracy, liberty, and justice were revolutionary code names that preceded the bubbling bubbling bubbling bubbling bubbling in the mother country's crotch

What does Webster say about soul?
All I want is a good home and a wife
And a children and some food to feed them every night.
After all is said and done build a new route to China if they'll have you.

Who will survive in America?
Who will survive in America?
Who will survive in America?
Who will survive in America?

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy came out around the same time I returned back to the United States from a two year stint in Honduras and when the love of my life betrayed me in the ultimate way possible.  I thought the connection between every song and the way the world was working at the time of its arrival was completely genius and I still do.  This song stuck out to me as one his finest because of the lyrics, the urgency of his beats, and the end monologue that sums up what the late 20's early 30's person is feeling right about now: the realization that dreams can also not be realized and the world is far more complicated than what we imagined and what we were led to believe by our elders.  I find this song to be my current state of mind.  As I attempt to realize my dreams, everyday I feel lost in the world in search of something new and unknown.  The life I thought I was meant to live just does not exist anymore and I am no longer on the path everyone follows.  Where I am heading, I do not know; I don't think anyone knows at this point, but where the path ends I perceive will be completely different than what my parents experience and envisioned for me. 

As for the lyrics, the first part I think refers to life and the people in life.  They are both good and bad and this realization is placed in so many different perspectives, but it always leads to the same conclusion.  And what is our solution?  Find the person who's worth putting up with both faces and just have the best time of your life why you consume this passion until it dies and you move on to the next person.  Then, you die PERIOD. 

And finally my favorite part of the song.  As a History major and a US history buff, I felt a combination of happiness and sadness for the realization that our country, wonderful as it may seem at times, was built on the foundations of taking away and figuratively raping its resources into depletion.  "America was a bastard, the illegitimate daughter of the mother country (England) whose legs were spread around the world..."  This in itself can be connected not only to America but also to the high prevalence of single mothers taking care of children because the fathers are no longer in the picture or are sent away.  It is no longer a taboo to have children out of wedlock, but to connect to the bigger picture, the idea that the US was something wrong has never been brought up in such a "in your face" way to almost reconsider your convictions and beliefs.  And that is so powerful, that it hits the very heart and mind of a person, and that is why I love it.

Like Kanye West, you can hate it or love it, but you feel something and you see this man talking straight from his heart and soul.  Pure genius, ambition, and talent.  Enjoy.

The Tom Leykis Show.

This man has changed many lives, and soon he will change yours.  If you listen (hear, process, and think) then you might be able to get a real understanding of how life works, for the successful, and ESPECIALLY the unsuccessful.

Visit www.blowmeuptom.com to find a great resource!

Love.

Once upon a time there was a boy and a girl that fell in love at first sight.  They spent a good two years completely infatuated with each other in all aspects.  They both believed they had found their soul mate.  Marriage plans were set after the girl graduated from college and they would spend the rest of their lives together pitying all of the other people that had not found love.

At the beginning of their third year, the boy got mad at the girl and pushed her.  The girl got upset and pushed him back.  He got upset even more, dropped her to the floor and began to choke her because he was really upset.  The girl was shocked.  How can her love do such a thing!  Well he blamed her for it; he told her that if she hadn't gotten him upset and pushed him, he would not have gone so far as to choke her.  She believe him stupidly, and continued to love him unconditionally.  The next time, he slapped her after she told him to take out the trash.  It was her fault again because she knew his temper and no way in hell would he let some bitch tell him what to do.  But stupidly again, she accepted him back into her life.  Another time he grabbed her, threw her to the ground, and pushed his knee against her chest.  He told her that if he wanted to, he could kill her then and there.  What did the girl do?  She moved in with him.  She loved him so much that she chose to accept the person she fell in love with her, with all his faults, all his troubles, and all of his bullshit.  The next time, he sexually assaulted her to show her that he was in charge and she was worth nothing to him.  She stayed.  The next time, he slapped her, pushed her, and kicked out in the streets of Hollywood Blvd at 3am.  She came back after he begged her to.  Why?  Because she was stupid.  The next time?  He used a golf club and left a bruise the size of a baseball.  What did she do?  She moved to Honduras with the man because she was completely in love with this man.  While in Honduras, nothing changed.  He took out a knife one time and told her to leave the house, in the middle of the night.  He slapped her, pushed her, hit her, grabbed her, and treated her like shit.  But she continued to stay for another four years before she returned to her mom and dad.  Two weeks after returning, the boy called her and told that he no longer wanted to be with her.  A month later, he called her and told her that he had found someone else and that was the reason he wanted to leave.  Three months later, he came crawling back for forgiveness.  The girl had had enough and told him never to call her, never to contact her, never to think about her again.

This girl is me.  I have had a lot of bad experiences happen to me.  I am fundamentally a different person because I do not trust anyone with myself.  And I don't really regret any of it.  I had a hard dose of reality happen to me at an early age and I hope that my experiences can help others that are going through the same bullshit.  I was a victim of domestic violence, but I was also a perpetrator.  I stayed with this person for seven years.  I should have left after the first sign, but I chose to accept this behavior in hopes that one day the "love of my life" would change.  But it never happened, and I accepted it.  I was so convinced that this person was for me, that I didn't want to leave because I love them.  And the truth is that my parents stayed together through the good and bad, and I thought that was what I was supposed to, so I did. 

I have now come to the realization that our times have changed; both men and women's roles in society have changed.  I don't need to tolerate any bullshit, violence or harm from anyone and I can choose to accept it or to leave it.  I can guarantee that it will not happen again, but what I say is that the past is the past and now is a new beginning.  I am alone, and I am happier than ever.  We live in a society where women can make their own living, and love is a commodity.  So we have to know that we don't need it, and it really doesn't exist in the way we've been taught.  Love costs money, costs, freedom, and sometimes it can cost our lives.  Is it worth it?  I don't think so.  

New Day.

The decision is made.  I started a new blog after a two year hiatus due to unforeseen circumstances I wish to comment on when I feel inspired.  I am writing this blog as a way to get my point across and hopefully meet some like minded individuals, or individuals with minds.  Whether you agree or not is irrelevant.  The point is that you have an opinion and can back it up with knowledge, research, and just fascinating ideas.  I will make my voice heard in whichever way I can because quite frankly there is just not enough intelligence in the media that can make us understand that we are all being played.  We are all being conned by many different things because that is what makes people do the things that they do.  Whether it be getting married and having babies, watching pathetic TV shows or simply numbing yourself with ignorance to avoid the truth of what is really going on in the good and dark side of the world, I am tired of watching people just live their lives without some knowledge.

Now I know that I am not the smartest person in the world.  I also know that I don't know all of the facts.  But what I do know is that I have the capacity to find out what I can and make something out of it.  I also know the difference between what is right and wrong.  And finally I know there is a wide spectrum of "gray" that falls between the black/white feeling of right and wrong.  Until we can figure things out completely, which will be never,  we can only attempt to make sense of what we know.  In the meantime, let's enjoy ourselves, learn something new everyday, and prosper.